Friday, January 30, 2009

Bad Headache Day (or night) #9 2009

Up With The Moon

The head hurts, The Belly burns, and I'm up with the moon and stars to keep me company. The Headache is under semi-control, but the old 2:00 AM wake up call from it has started again. I'm attacking with more benadryl and phenergan, but I'm losing the battle in the middle of the night. I wish there was something I could do that would just knock me unconscious. Perhaps a large mallet blow to the head??

I am tired but The Headache won't let me sleep. I feel whiney and gripey and grumpy and sleepy and dopey, but not sneezy or the rest of the seven dwarfs... What better to do than blog - typing deep thoughts into the eternal ether of the internet. At least its a distraction.

The weather is warmer and the snow and ice is melting. My head keeps hurting and I find it hard to care about the weather, about work, about anything but The Headache. I have practiced my biofeedback techniques, but when the pain gets bad enough it becomes impossible to think. I have envisioned walks throught the woods with lovely streams flowing nearby and crunchy snow underfoot or sunlight warming me from above and I delude myself that it is really working This Time! Then The Headache has its say and out run all the lovely thoughts from my head and all I can do is feel the pain.

Well! Enough feeling sorry for myself - there are persons out there in the world with worse problems. After all, I have lived nearly 50 years and have only had this last year with this constant pain in the head. It is only terribly horrible every few days and deathly horrible a few times a month and I have a few functional days sprinkled in there somewhere. It would be intolerable constantly without the indomethacin. I hope for a solution that will enable me to quit the indomethacin (saving The Belly) and still kill The Headache.

The oddest thing - there was a big BOOM this evening, and then later a firetruck and some deputies went down the private lane next to our house with their lights flashing. They came back up the lane sometime later without their lights flashing. I'm taking that as a good omen that no one in our neighborhood was hurt.

I continue to blog waiting for The Headache to respond to the medication. I always thought I was brave until The Headache hit in 2007, now knowing what levels of pain I have to endure at times I become panicky. I have hit the limit of what I can endure, and I fear as The Headache whittles down my resistance day by day by day that the limit may be getting lower each time. How can I really tell? I will try all kinds of tricks to keep The Headache at bay just so I won't have to take my measure against it again.

Sigh, I'm getting morose because the medicine isn't working. I better quit blogging while I can still type. I may try another round of benedryl/phenergan in another hour. All Praise the mighty Benadryl - doing double duty as hive reducer and headache calmer!

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