Saturday, June 27, 2009

Getting my Golden Helmet of Mambrino

Hope I'm not Tilting at Windmills!

Will be leaving in wee hours tomorrow to drive to St. Louis and catch a flight to Cleveland. Fatigue finally won out over economy, so I compromised with a four hour dive and an hour or so flight. My younger brother John is going with me - my poor older brother Phil has a bad back and it about put him down for the count when he went with me the last time.

I thought of this song from the Man of La Mancha where Don Quixote mistakes the barber's shaving basin for a legendary golden helmet which will make him invincible! I hope I am not as mistaken as the great Don, and the occipital stimulator will be the real golden helmet, and not just a wash bowl. If you hear the cuckoos calling from the cuckooberry tree, please let me know! I definitely hope I have a noble heart and the stimulator will make me impervious to The Headache!

Hand over that golden helmet!

But this is a shaving basin!

Shaving basin! Know thou not what this really is?
The Golden Helmet of Mambrino!
When worn by one of noble heart, it renders
him invulnerable to all wounds!
I am hoping for a safe trip and an excellent result from my surgery Tuesday. Won't probably be posting for a few days so everyone out there - stay well!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Clown Watch Happiness

What Time is it?? Time to Have Fun!!!!

A lovely surprise was waiting for me at home this evening - wonderful clown watch with spinning circles, which I guess are clown balls. (Hmmm, that doesn't sound very nice) My sister dropped it off at home as a present for me when she was visiting my mom this afternoon. Definitely a source of merriment to take with me to Cleveland. I will certainly be stylin' with this lovely watch wrapped around my wrist!

I look like I have a tan in this picture, but that is actually discoloration from huge hives I had about 3 years ago. I have very large brownish patches scattered all over me, somewhat like a home tan gone bad (you know, when you get too much sunless tanner in some places and none in others???). I have one patch that covers the lower left side of my face but it is fainter than some of the others, so it's not quite as noticeable. The hive on my left hand went from my knuckles to about midway up my forearm. There is an area where a watch goes that isn't discolored because I was wearing a watch when I had the allergic reaction and my wrist couldn't swell up as much as the rest of me!

My chronic hives are really acting up this week. Big old red hives are popping up all over me, and my eyes itch, the insides of my ears itch, the inside of my nose itches, and my lips are starting to swell. I am breaking out around every spot my clothing is tight, and my feet broke out with hives where my shoes fit more snuggly. Normally I would start downing the H2 blockers and benedryl but am trying to be conservative with medication due to the operation next week.

My insurance company Anthem called, and wants to put me in a free program called Care Coordination, where a nurse calls you and asks how you are doing every 3 months or so. Something needs to be coordinated but I think my own poor health is just a little too complicated for this to make much difference. I am thinking about doing it, just to see what it is. The intake person asked what all was wrong with me, and after giving that list to her (and I think I missed a couple of problems) I'm surprised depression wasn't one of them! I guess it pays to have your glass half full all of the time.

I was able to work both yesterday and today, and actually have gotten some work completed! Yeah!! I know I am not being as effective at my job as I like to be and that is frustrating. I really love my job and the people I work with. I discussed the problems I am having (except for the continence issues - a very touchy subject to talk about) with my boss and even offered to resign because I hate being non-productive, but he said I do more in the few hours I am there than some people do all week. I think he was just being nice, but I appreciate the thought!

Have been doing some programming at work this last couple of weeks. I can do it but its not high on my list of work tasks - almost rates thrill wise with filing. I guess that's why it's called work and not vacation! I do like problem solving, and that part of programming is interesting. Sorta like accounting which I did for about 20 years - the routine is boring boring boring, but every once in a while you run across a problem that takes a while to figure out.

One of the boss's daughters is working this summer doing programming and she is a very quick learner. Her degree is in fine art (as in drawing, sculpture, ceramics, etc.) so you would think she would be very right brained but she inherited some really good logic circuits to go with her intuitive side. Makes me realize how much my own brain has slowed down with The Headache and age. Sigh.

I had some fairly invasive testing done yesterday for the pelvic pain and other issues I have been having (including continence problems). Won't get the results for a week or so, since I will be in Cleveland, but I'm sure that the news won't be great. Had an anal ultrasound, pudendal nerve latency test, and an anal manometry test to see how bad the ennervation of the plevic region is. Not a great way to spend an afternoon. If nothing is wrong then I know that I have made a perfect ass of myself!!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Bad Headache Day #32 2009

No Sleep And My Eye Hurts

Boy, am I whiny today. Didn't sleep at all last night, didn't go to work today. My left eye is a source of piercing ouchiness which is leading to overwhelming grouchiness. I did work several hours in the middle of the night on a project to distract myself. Couldn't drug myself into insensibility but I did manage to stop the pain escalation before I became non-functional! Maybe I am getting the hang of keeping myself out of emergency rooms!

My insurance company Anthem sent me a letter from their subrogation department (that's the department that tries to get anyone other than Anthem to pay the bill) from my visit with the oncologist, wanting to know if it's a work related injury. Now, not knowing what the doctor's office coded the visit as, I shouldn't be too judgmental but really - a visit to your gynecological oncologist is due to work related injury?? What line of work would that put me in, eh? And what kind of injury could it be that would make it even remotely work related??? Seems to be a case of computer generated nonsense due to a trauma code being put on a bill. How much work is wasted because a human being never bothers to review what happens? No wonder health insurance is expensive!

This has been a blah nothing day, maybe because I am in a blah nothing mood. My hives are erupting in full glory this week just to make my life even more exciting. And I am still having trouble walking from the leg problems. Just about ready to take more Benedryl to stop the itching somewhat and go to bed. Hoping to sleep tonight even tho The Headache is taking over.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Wishing For Relief

The Evening Primroses are Blooming

My front flower bed is a shambles this year because I haven't had the energy to put out new annuals. However, the evening primroses that I established a couple of years ago are branching out and taking up more space. Thank heavens it is a native plant (or weed!) and very hardy!

Not a very good evening. The Headache is on an upward swing. Can't sit still, and so nauseous I don't know if I can keep any medication down. Not wanting to go to an ER - I live so very far away from everything, and these late night exacerbations make it difficult to find someone to go with me. I absolutely hate having to wake people up in the middle of the night just to go sit in an emergency room and wait just so I can get pain relief. If I don't have a ride or a driver the ER will not medicate with anything strong enough to stop The Headache. What a delimma!

Figuring on renting a car and driving to Cleveland this Sunday. My old Ford won't make many more 16 hour trips, so I'm going rental. I'm dreading the drive, but it's the most economical way to go - didn't have enough advance notice to get cheap airline tickets. Depending on how I feel, may stretch the drive over Saturday and Sunday. I am going to keep checking ticket prices but right now it would be over $2400 for my brother and I to fly, and I can't justify that expense.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Warning: Headache in Progress

Got the Pain Jitters

The Headache is coming alive this evening. Had a good day yesterday as far as The Headache was concerned, but it is growing again. I have been imagining myself somewhere quiet and dark, but it is already quiet and dark here so I don't have to stretch my imagination very far. Thank heavens because the brain is just limping along.

Having issues sitting still - guess I will take my good old fashioned benedryl phenergan Ultram cocktail and see if I can still the troubled brain. Going to work tomorrow and try to catch up from the sciatic disaster from last week. Still hurting from that, but at least at livable levels. I can walk without just scooting my feet around - Yeah!!! Not looking forward to the tests next Wednesday since I am afraid they may cause the sciatica to act up again.

I am tired yet I have not done anything this weekend. I need to buy groceries and clean house desparately but didn't want to risk riling up the legs like last week. The dirt will be there when I get around to getting rid of it - it definitely isn't going to run away and leave the floor clean like magic. I wish I had some of those magic elves/brownies like in the fairy tales that come and do all your work for you while you are asleep. Maybe an oompa loompa or two would make work lighter - but they are sooo judgemental!!! Considering my short stature, I'm probably only an inch or two from oompa loompadom myself. :) By state law if I shrink another inch I'll have to buy a booster seat to drive!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I Could Use a Leg Replacement

If I buy 12 will they make it a Baker's Dozen?

My sciatic nerve is inflamed and both of my legs have no strength, but the right one is especially bad. I guess I know now what they mean when someone gets on your last nerve - that specialist must've found it and poked it! The pain is bad enough tonight I am getting the pain jitters, and that is after taking a muscle relaxer, heavy duty ibuprofen, and Ultram. What's more, The Belly is starting the body revolution again, and my innards are kicking a fit. However, I did eat some "real" food this evening so its hard to tell if The Belly is mad at the food or the ibuprofen.

I have lost nine pounds in the last two weeks - that's what non-stop pain does for me. I eat when I'm happy, and I've been happy A LOT in my life. When I'm stressed or ill I quit eating, and that's where I've been for awhile. I've been trying to be joyful and get my mojo back and less mindful of my body but its not working too well. The joyfulness is OK, but the mojo is not happening and my body has a non-stop failure record to keep me occupied with it. I think I need a new chipset.

My PCP who prescribed the muscle relaxer and the ibuprofen to take along with the Ultram suggested I get a spinal cord stimulator for the bottom of my spine. Well, wouldn't I be something - an occipital stimulator at head level and a spinal stimulator at butt level!!! Kinda android like wouldn't you think?? Not sold on this idea - some of the testing I will have done next week is to see if my pudendal nerve is still intact and functioning (a pudendal nerve latency test). If its fried to a crisp by the radiation, I don't think a spinal cord stimulator is going to be any help! The MRI I had last week only showed mild DJD, with no cancer and no nerve entrapment. The degenerative joint disease would be a normal finding for someone my age.

This is definitely putting a damper on my bicycle obsession. I have found a couple of great buys on Craigs list for small framed bicycles, but don't know if I can even ride one now with my legs acting up. That's why I am contemplating the mannequin legs - perhaps a relacement would work better! I don't mind if they are used - that means they worked at one point in time.

The Headache is behaving itself today, but today is the best point in my headache cycle. At least The Headache is not trying to trump The Legs, but I'm pretty sure The Belly is going to give them a run for Most Pain tonight.

No work yesterday because I spent all day at doctor's being tested. When you have had cancer it seems they test test test test everytime you have something happen. No work today or Tuesday because I can't hardly walk let alone drive. I thought for sure something was working this afternoon and I would be better, but this evening has been a total bust. Probably walked a little too much when the pain let up - the last time this happened I ended up not walking or sitting up unless absolutely necessary for a couple of weeks.

When I bought my medication yesterday the clerk told me that she felt how I looked. How are you supposed to take that? Since I was feeling very down and in pain, I figured I looked like hell warmed over. The shuffle that is my present walking style probably doesn't exude energy and peppiness either. Even the bottoms of my feet are burning and tingling. I probably was lurching around like Frankenstein's Monster. Next thing you know, I 'll get asked to dance to "Puttin' on the Ritz" in order to demonstrate my balance and function!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

It's 3 AM - Hoping for a better Today!

Another Sleepless Night

It's in the middle of the night, just not able to go to sleep even with medication. My legs are malfunctioning, especially the right one, and I'm thinking if it keeps this up I will have to take yet another visit to another doctor to get some medication to short circuit the nerves. The last time it was this bad I took something called parafon forte, and it seemed to work marvelously except it made me excessively sleepy. Not something I want to take everyday for sure.

I am going to think of happier things for a little while - perhaps I can lull myself to sleep with happy thoughts. I'm picturing myself by a gurgling creek, with cool springy moss underfoot. I can feel the moisture in the air, and violets are blooming everywhere. The breeze brings the scent of fresh mown hay and newly turned earth. Tree toads are singing, and a mourning dove is calling for rain. The sun glints now and then between the heavey canopy of leaves from the surrounding trees. The pain from my legs is draining out into the wet grey clay by the side of the water and it is flowing away downstream, dissapating into the misty rapids below.

This has not been a great day for me, with the medication I have is just not up to the job. I feel like I have a "raw" nerve somewhere down in the gluteus region. When it goes off it starts a chain reaction that can go on for weeks, and I don't have time for this. Pain, Pain - go away - come again another day! I don't want to play this game anymore this week!

I have read that in rare cases radiation can remove the fatty sheath around nerves in spots (much like multiple sclerosis does). Wondering if this is what has happened to mine...sure feels like mine are misfiring in some way! The leg weakness is worse for me in summer also - I can't hardly walk across a hot parking lot - maybe it makes the nerves heat sensitive also - like an overheated computer circuit! Flakey legs instead of a flakey chip - that's the ticket!

Monday, June 15, 2009

I Want Me Some Electric Pain Chaser!!

Wishing for Tomorrow Today

Not such a great day today. Have been in very bad nerve pain as yet another exam by another specialist (who now has more invasive tests ordered) results in "I think your problems are due to the radiation therapy you had." Well, no duh! In the meantime nerves I very carefully try not to annoy are angrily taking their revenge today. The Headache is not cooperative either. I guess the whole body is in rebellion.

Found this advertisement for Electric Pain Chaser, from the Electric Bean Chemical Company, on Flicker. It seems to cure anything that ails you. Maybe I need some of this? And what is an electric bean?

My pelvic nerves, my legs, and the bottoms of my feet are all on fire tonight. No way to get away from it, just trying to wait it out. Took medication and slept through most of today, took some more a few minutes ago and hopefully I will be asleep quickly.

On the upside - at least it is not a recurrance of cancer. On the downside, I was told the problems I have (if caused by radiation therapy) will be progressive and there is no way to treat it or predict how bad it will finally get. I'm going through with the next round of tests - may as well pursue it to the end this time! So next week I will have a battery of tests that will deal with pelvic nerve functionality, but won't hear back about them until the first week in July. Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Happiness is......

It's a Great World!

Back from my childhood "Happiness Is" was the theme for quite a few posters and homemade wall art. Been thinking a bit about happiness and how I am in control of this, regardless of health issues!

My Happiness is list:

Happiness is knowing a friend just got a beautiful new bicycle.

Happiness is two dogs and a very large ball.

Happiness is my very old Wilsy cat enjoying an evening outside.

Happiness is rhubarb that is finally growing!

Happiness is seeing lillies in bloom.

Happiness is home and family.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Hoping for a Great Weekend

Beautiful Sunset Last Night

The temperature was perfect, the wind was still, the mockingbird in my forsythia was singing its heart out, and then the sun started to go down. A perfect dusk.

My flowers are blooming. My rhubarb (I have tried to start a patch here for the last 23 years) is growing instead of withering and dying. The cherries on my cherry tree are being picked off by redheaded woodpeckers faster than I can get to them. Tomatoes are setting on in our little raised bed garden. The grass is green, the clover is ready for rabbit munching, and the trees are in full leaf. I saw a firefly the other evening, so summer is officially here.

I've been thinking about our own personal filters of perception after reading some comments by an anorexic lady. Her disease helps her create a filter that distorts not only her own body image but how she perceives others. Persons with what she perceived as extra body weight she saw as inferior beings who did not have her superior will power. She saw her extremely thin body as too fat and thinner as healthier. Since I have been looking at the world through my own diseased lens of pain, I wonder what distortions have come into my filters that I am unaware of.

This weekend I am going to get grounded and step back from myself and do a 360 review of myself and how I am perceiving the world and my place in it. Pain isolates and creates a self centered universe where pain aversion becomes a motivating factor. I need to cut the cage I have made for myself and join the rest of the human race!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Kreative Blogger Award

A Fantastic Surprise!

Sue at InnerDorothy was kind enough to share a Blogger Award with me. My day has been a day of pleasant surprises and this was a nice one to end it on.

As part of the Award, I am to share six things that make me happy:

1) My family

2) My friends

3) My pets

4) Lying on the lawn watching for falling stars on a warm summer evening

5) Helping someone

6) Chicken Train by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils - Laser Beam in my Dream!!

Since this award sharing was started by a headache sufferer I will try to keep on with the theme as I nominate others for this award!

Some blogs I follow that I feel are quite creative are:

Jasmine at Jasmine's Cove

Stepanie at Head Wise

And not related to headaches - Shel at Makin' Do with Nothin', for her frugal tips for tough times.

What a lovely day! Headache or not, life is good. If you've never heard Chicken Train or you are having a bad day - give it a try! Always makes me laugh! Chicken Train Take the Chickens Away.....

Megadose B12??

Drug Cornucopia

I received a link today to a pubmed article on research on B12 and homocysteine reduction and migraine disability/pain. To summarize the abstract, a double blind study of patients with migraine with aura seems to indicate that migraine sufferers benefited from B vitamin supplementation. A certain genetic sequence was found to favor more benefit from the B supplementation than others. The responders to the therapy reduced their homocysteine levels (high levels of homocysteine have been linked to vascular problems) and also had a significant reduction in overall migraine disability.

There is also another pubmed abstract I remembered (and found again) where oral contraception is linked to lowered B vitamin and folic acid levels. I wonder if this is why some women get worse migraines while on oral contraception? They may already have high homocysteine levels and a greater need for B vitamin levels based on their genetic sequence, and the oral contraception creates additional problems. There also seems to be an associated comorbidity with depression due to vitamin B deficiency.

Last year I found a study done in Europe where headache pain was reduced by inhaled B12. I tried taking high doses sublingually last summer and part of the fall, and while I felt a small boost of energy it didn't do too much for my constant pain. I maybe got a small reduction in pain - rather hard to tell when your noggin hurts all the time. I am still supplementing with B12, just at lower doses, because - hey - it can't hurt!

I did notice that there were a lot of references on PubMed to articles written in the 1950's concerning B vitamins and headache treatment. I wonder if this is an old treatment that has gone by the wayside because we have such a cornucopia of drugs to try these days??

The Headache is at it again tonight - it is almost 1 AM. I have done a couple of hours of work from home this evening, and if I can't get to sleep I may do more. I think it is going to be a looooong June for me this year.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Bad Headache Day #31 2009

My Brain is like a Wrung Out Sham Wow

Second bad day in a row - due for a better day tomorrow (or I should say today - can't sleep and its 2 AM). My brain has been swollen too big for my skull for quite a few hours, now it feels like its been squeezed dry and is all crinkly and ouchy. Medication isn't doing anything at this point - but The Headache seems to be idling right now. I hope that it decides to keep on idling for the next few days because I have some important things to do at work.

Filing another extension on my short term disability this week. I'm disappointed that this is necessary, but its taking quite a while to get the stimulator installed. My PCP (when he signed the paperwork) asked me about how well the trial stimulator worked, and I said didn't kill the pain entirely but seemed to keep the pain from getting worse. He told me I may have to stay on some sort of medication. I stated that I will wait and see - the permanent implant may work better than the trial. For one thing I get to keep it instead of returning it in a week!

I can't sleep and now I have the echoes of the Sham Wow guy's voice bouncing around in my skull. Yee Haw! Or should I say "Sham Wow!"??

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Bad Headache Day #30 2009

The Pain, Boss, The Pain!

Bad day today. I finally drugged myself to sleep to get through the worst part of the pain but it's bouncing back this evening. I would have gone to the ER but I had no one to drive me home so that would have been pointless. I may end up there yet, but will take some more meds in a bit to see if I can stave off the agony a little while longer. This is probably payback for the two good days I had this weekend. Never. Let. Your. Guard. Down. I should know that by now!

Ah, I will try to take a mind vacation at an imaginary island - cool water lapping at my feet, ocean breezes in the late evening rustling the grass, my head pain free and pleasant fresh smell of air that has traveled the world to find me! If only I had Ricardo Montalban there serving me a cool glass of lemonade it would be perfect.

I am sure now that some of the pain exacerbations I have been experiencing are weather related. This afternoon the pain was the worst just when tornado sirens were going off about 15 miles away. Another storm front is moving through, as as the thunder rumbles louder and the lightening flashes get closer The Headache is getting worse. I guess if I don't get blown away tonight by a tornado I should consider myself lucky!

Blog Carnival At Somebody Heal Me

I Participated in My First Blog Carnival

Diana Lee at Somebody Heal Me was kind enough to invite me to participate in a blog carnival. She sponsors one every month. I'm new to this stuff - so I'm very honored she was sweet enough to include my entry! Please read the entries - some great stuff there! The theme this month was "Misunderstanding Migraine"

Diana is going to get something called a "RadioFrequency Rhizotomy" to deaden some nerves in the back of her head/neck. I hope she finds complete relief from this procedure and keeps writing her blog to let us know about her new pain free life!!!

On another note - I am seriously starting to search for a good bicycle to start biking after I get the stimulator installed. Another blogger bikes in a city setting and makes it sound so inviting - I used to bike with a 10-speed long ago until an unfortunate accident in gear five with a dog. The dog was fine, the bike was fine, I had a fine case of road rash as I flew over the handlebars in full derailleur glory and kissed the pavement. Still have the scars!!!

I think I may look for a single speed old lady bike but will probably go to the local bike store to have one made to measure as I am under five feet tall. There are several great local bike trails I can use, maybe even bike to as I build my endurance. I think this old circus bike looks like my speed, and if I dressed like the clown I would maybe do better flips when the next dog attacks my bike like a buzz bomber! When I get the bike I will have to practice to circus theme music so I can get the full effect!

At home today, sleepy and medicated as The Headache is having a field day!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Get A Screening Colonoscopy

A Night Away From Home

My brother John, who babysat my pets while Mom and I went to Aunt Nadine's funeral, said Augie sat and cried and howled most of the time we were gone. He said if Augie thought you were looking at him howling or trying to make him feel better, the Augster would hide and cry quietly in his hiding place but wouldn't stop.

Augie is my dachshund, my sweet patootie, and was a gift from my Mom for my 45th birthday, the year I was diagnosed and treated for cancer. He's been my guardian angel every since, and became my Mom's a couple of years ago. He switched from sleeping on my bed to sleeping on hers about the same time Mom started "feeling bad" before she was diagnosed with cancer. I think animals can tell when someone is sick, especially with cancers that upset your metabolism and probably change your body odor in subtle ways.

When The Headache gets really bad at home, Augie comes and curls up beside me, trying to do everything he can do to help, even if it is just being snuggly. If I have to be so medicated I am knocked out, Augie will stay by my side until I am no longer under the influence. He is maybe just a little bit spoiled but is a very good boy most of the time, and he just doesn't know what to do when both Mom and I are gone at the same time.

Thinking of cancer, I want to urge everyone reading this blog to have a screening colonoscopy after the age of 50, sooner if colorectal cancer runs in your family.

My mother and my uncle both have had colon cancer, and it is very curable if you catch it early enough. My Mom was told that she had probably had cancer in that spot for FIFTEEN to TWENTY years! If she had had a screening colonoscopy when she was in her mid to late fifties, they might have found it at a much easier to treat stage and the surgery would have been much less extensive. My uncle had an even harder time of it, with two rounds of chemotherapy and two rounds of radiation and extensive surgery, but he is cancer free five years later!

I have had two colonoscopies (because my prior endometrial cancer puts me at a higher risk) and my brother Phil just had one a couple of weeks ago - he is 53. You don't remember a thing, it doesn't hurt, and the only bothersome part is taking the purging laxatives the night before. I've had biopsies during the procedure, and didn't feel any pain from it at all, and the peace of mind is priceless.

I go tomorrow morning for a MRI of my lumbar sacral spine. Apparently the MRI I just had a few weeks ago for the pelvic region is not the same as this MRI. Who would have thunk it??? The Headache is being unpleasant this evening, but considering I have driven quite a few miles this weekend I am not surprised. The Headache did behave itself this weekend for the most part, which I was very grateful for. My Mom was sad and stressed enough without having to put her through The Headache rigamarole.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Occipital Stimulator Surgery Scheduled

The Turtle Migration Has Started

Finally I am scheduled for surgery to implant the "permanent" occipital stimulator. I have to be in Cleveland June 29th for presurgical testing/interview and the surgery will be performed June 3oth. Now if I can just get the working stimulator instead of the dud stimulator!

The annual turtle migration has started, with a big old snapping turtle getting all tuckered out in the road in front of the house. His shell was a little over a foot across, and I've heard that they grow about an inch a year, making this a 12 year old turtle. Not sure how long they live - tortoises live long lives, but I don't know about turtles.

My brother and I got him into a garbage can (my armadillo trapping experience came in handy) where he couldn't escape and liberated him down at the creek. It was a stinky ride the mile or so to the creek, as Mr. Turtle decided to go to the can in the can so to speak. He was quite snappy but soooo tired he just couldn't get to where he wanted to go. He seemed a bit dehydrated also.

We got him to the creek and my brother gently scooted the turtle out. Mr. Turtle got in the water so quickly I didn't have a chance to get his picture on shore - just barely got a picture of the bubbles as he headed downstream. Mr. Turtle paused and looked back at us like "Thanks" before he went under on his way to the good life at the bottom of the creek. I won't be going wading barefooted in that section for awhile!

I was able to work today. Exciting times - going to build some education materials for online classes! I LOVE learning new software. Also part of the conversion data is ready for me to work on so I get to flex some brain cells! The bosses were so nice about my scheduled surgery. I think I won the boss lottery when I got this job, although I have to admit my old boss Lester would have fit right in.

I had my followup appointment with my oncologist yesterday morning and what I expected to be a short report - yes you don't have any cancer, turned into yet another MRI ordered and more appointments. I was told once more that radiation therapy could not be the cause of my pelvic pain and other problems I have from ennervation in that region. I said I would be very happy if radiation therapy was not the cause of my pain, because then there would be something I could do about it, but everytime I get past this point with a specialist they then decide that yes, radiation therapy is the cause, and no, there isn't anything they can do. Maybe this time will be different and I'll actually get some treatment.

On a sad note, my Aunt Nadine died this morning. Nadine was about four years older than my mom, making her in her early 80's and had been very frail for the last few years. My mother came from a family of 14 children, and now there are only two of them left - my mom and her younger brother. Aunt Nadine had a close and loving family and we all will miss her. She was a strong woman and had one of the most beautiful vegetable gardens I had ever seen. She could grow anything - had a green thumb for sure - and made wonderful blackberry cobbler, homemade noodles, and ham and beans. I think she will be gardening in heaven, right alongside her husband Guy. I'll be driving my Mom back home (even after all these years its still home in my mind) for the funeral this weekend.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Tired of Being Tired

Ready for A New Day

Have been reaaaally sick the last few days, bad enough I made a trip to the ER about 4 in the morning early Monday. I'm left feeling very tired.

This will be the fourth round of antibiotics I have had in the past month and a half. I'm running out of antibiotics to take, and I am very very very tired (oh, did I mention I'm tired?). It's the kind of tired that sleep does not help. On the up side The Headache is having a good day today and The Belly only complained once.

I actually got out and planted some flowers and pruned a few tomato plants last weekend. I've been too sick to tend to them since and by this afternoon the flowers were looking a little sad. I did get some water on them this evening so maybe they will be more perky tomorrow. I got enough sun Saturday I have my first sunburn of the season.

I feel so bummed that yet another illness is upon me. The ER doc thought this still may be the aftermath of the flu I caught a few weeks ago. Double darn. The antibiotics seem to be helping, and I am sure tomorrow (or today) will be a better day than yesterday!