Saturday, January 29, 2011

Places I Have Puked

Adding Dollar General Checkout Counter

Nausea has been my companion throughout my life.  I was a car sick youngster, a pukey adult.  Many things can set me off: motion, odors, dizziness, migraines, headaches, pancreatitis, gastritis, allergic reactions, medications.  Today was no exception.

I took pain medication last night at about 3 AM and woke up at 9 AM and promptly tossed my cookies.  Since what I tossed was undigested food (I know TMI) from what I ate at approximately 7 PM the evening before I know the pain medication was not the culprit.  I had actually stopped digesting what was in my stomach approximately eight hours before taking the pain medication.  This is typical for me and The Headache.  I did wake up with The Headache poking needles through my brain so I am guessing the pain started getting worse the evening before and I didn't notice.  Sigh.

I took 50 mg of phenergan orally, and after a brief nap I tried eating some lunch.  Mission accomplished, or so I thought.  I waited a little while and drove into town with my brother to pick up some meds and buy some cleaning supplies.  While at the checkout line at the Dollar General store I thought - oooo not good.  I had the familiar world is tipping sea sick feeling.  I silently willed the super slow checkout lady to hurry up.  I then took three steps from the counter and said "I don't feel too well".  I hyperfocused on the bright yellow bags in the turnaround bagger device.  Slow checkout lady was ignoring me, but I saw in my peripheral vision all the people in the line behind me take three steps back in horror.  I grabbed a yellow sack and started ralfing in it.  The checkout lady noticed and speeded up. I kept throwing up in the sack and finally quit.  My brother kept saying "She's had the flu, she's had the flu"  - he just did not have the fortitude I do to puke and not bother to explain.  I closed the bag and mumbled something like "At least I didn't puke all over the counter".  My brother grabbed my puke bag from me and started grabbing bags to take to the car.

I turned to pay and then had to grab another bag and puke again.  All the counter lady could do is keep saying "are you going to pay?" I guess thinking that it was a ploy to run off with valuable Dollar General cleaning supplies.  I finished with my vomiting spell and calmly turned to the debit/credit card machine and swiped my card and input my pin number.  I mumbled "At least I didn't puke on your floor" as she frantically grabbed my receipt and almost threw it at me.

I stumbled out into the sunlight (it was a beautiful day in the seventies here in southern Missouri) with my bag o' puke and my receipt and my brother rushed to my rescue, grabbing my bag and disposing of it somewhere, I hope in a dumpster.  I managed to drive home and have spent the entire remainder of my day sick and napping on the couch.  My pancreas is hurting quite a bit so The Belly might be somewhat to blame for my malaise.  That's what I get for eating some take out Chinese food the day before I guess.  I may have to go visit an ER if I can't get this under control.  Big Sigh.

I have no shame or embarrassment about puking in public anymore. I not only vomit, I projectile vomit!

I have puked at:
Formal Christmas Parties (pass the extra garlicky garlic mashed potatoes please - BLEH!)
Right in front of a family having a picnic in their yard
In front of a highway patrolman (I was speeding a bit trying to get to a turn off in order to puke)
On the dashboard of my car (Have done this one more than once)
At my desk at work
Running down a hallway to get to the bathroom at work
At other people's desks at work (using their trashcan)
College classes
On airplanes, both in the restroom and using the bags
in airport restrooms
At client's - thank heavens hospitals have lots of restrooms!
In hotel rooms
On the interstate
In parking lots
In ambulances
In hospital rooms
In emergency rooms
In church
While Shopping
In every room at home
At the doctor's office - Note:  Don't poke me in the stomach.
At the grocery store
Of the loading dock of a pharmacy

There are probably more, but I'm a little too nauseous to remember.  After all it is a thirty year legacy of persistent puking to commemorate!  I sorta feel like Stan from South Park, throwing up everytime he sees Wendy, but for me it could be anything. Hoping you all have a great non-vomiting weekend.


  1. With all this puking experience, have you ever triggered a sympathy puke in someone else? I have to leave the room when anyone else pukes. I could puke right now, just typing the word puke so much. Bleugh.

    I'm sending you good thoughts, Winny!

  2. You poor thing. You could literally say you almost puked around the world. ((((Winny))))

  3. I too used to have this issue (I have since somehow weird by mastered puking and can "hold it" and now can only throw up by sticking my fingers down my throat (lovely conversation) even when I'm insanely sick.
    But back in the day I used to get sick a lot publicly as well. When my husband was courting me (it was a 1 month courtship), I threw up 3 times and once was all over myself. He took me to my apartment and helped me get cleaned up. I knew it was true love :) "Nothing you can do about it" he would say. Yeah- I was a fun date!
    Feel better soon!!!

  4. Steph: I once triggered a sympathy puke when I threw up IN MY HAIR at an office I worked at. I generally keep my hair short because of this, because then I puked because of the sympathy puke...unending circle of puking cycle...

    JBR: Yes, I have almost puked everywhere I have gone. I puked at Ft. Lauderdale on a trip - I told the friend who was driving to PULL OVER and he was tooo slow, so I puked all over the door of his rental car in addition to the sidewalk...ewww

    DEJ: No holding it back for me it just flies out. Your husband is definitely a keeper if he survived 3 pukings in the dating period with no "in sickness and in health" vows to make him stay!!! I will test drive the stomach with some food today and see what happens - its sorta like waiting for Mount Vesuvius to erupt...

  5. OMG! Had to kind of chuckle at this post...even though I feel sorry for you!

    As a fellow puker...I can somewhat relate...although luckily I usually make it to a bathroom or sink!

    50mgs of Phenergan...I'd be on my ass!!!

  6. Jessica: as one puker to another - there is no amount of phenergan or zofran that can stop my puke machine when it gets going.

    I still remember the looks of horror I have seen - the family having the picnic - I pulled up along side their yard blinded to their party by my nausea. I opened up my car door jumped out and started vomitting. I heard voices just stop in mid sentence. After I was done I looked up (I am sure looking a little bit like a zombie that had eaten some bad brains) and they were sitting at their picnic table a few feet away just horrified. I cheerily waved and hopped in my car and sped off, hopefully never to meet them again!