Saturday, December 11, 2010
The last few years I have not enjoyed the Christmas holiday season very much. I am overwhelmed by my health issues, my mother's health issues, worry about my siblings, financial burdens, and fatigue. I have had something drastic happen to me or someone I care about every fall for the last four years. Instead of anticipating traditional holiday fun I am shell shocked, waiting for the next shoe to fall, the next disaster to happen.
I find myself surrounded by people busily working on their holiday task lists - putting up decorations, buying gifts, shopping, all full of Christmas spirit. I don't think I will be doing very much for the holidays this December as once again my timing with health issues stinks. I try very hard not to "Bah Humbug" everyone else, or be to Grinchly, as this used to be one of my favorite times of the year too. The entire holiday experience is overwhelming for me anymore.
Because of The Headache and The Legs, I avoid walking too much (which means even shopping - my mind still refuses to think of shopping as exertion!), avoid crowds, avoid too much bright light or too much contrasting light (dark and bright), and avoid loud noises and way too much cheerful muzak. I try to stick to small gatherings and avoid big family and formal parties since I think it is easier to minimize the impact of my surroundings with smaller crowds and less formal settings. I have to admit my avoidance of holiday muzak is not due to health reasons, it comes from working at places that have non-stop holiday music for four months. Auuuuugh!
I don't have a lot of pointers on how to maximize the holidays, as most of my holidays anymore are taken up with minimizing the scope of my celebrations. I guess I just have to make the best of what I can do, and maybe take advantage of some of the benefits of having to take lots of different medications. I have trouble with nausea and the medication I take to control that can be very sedating. The nausea can come from nothing, or from eating, or maybe from way way too much cheerful muzak. Some of the uncontrollable movement I have if I overtake these meds could make me rival Elaine's dancing on Seinfeld. That would be a real party moment!!! I might decide to overtake it on purpose just so I can groove to the tunes Elaine style!
Hoping you all have great fun this Holiday season, don't over do it and don't listen to way way way too much cheerful muzak.