Called and left a message with Dr. Kildare's nurse today. I have an appointment tomorrow to talk to my PCP concerning effective pain management, as Dr. Kildare's nurse had told me that was who needed to manage my pain for The Legs, especially since Dr. Kildare was still reviewing my records. I said that I had an appointment to discuss pain management and I would appreciate it if Dr. Kildare had anything he could let my PCP know that would help us make adequate plans. I left my name, my phone number, and my PCP's name and phone number (which Dr. Kildare surely had since my PCP had referred me to him). I didn't really expect that Dr. Kildare would have anything to add to the discussion, but thought I should give him a chance because his lack of response was going to be part of my conversation with my PCP.
When I got home this evening there was a message from Dr. Kildare's nurse on my answering machine. I am to call back and make an appointment for January 5th with their scheduler to see Dr. Kildare. Whether or not he has a plan is still a question in my mind. I fully expect to arrive and get grilled again about my plethora of problems without any reference to my medical records. I hope I will be disappointed, and he will have done his homework. I need to get some kind of plan going so I know what actions I can take to get better, if that is possible. I dread starting all over again one more time.
I wrote an email to a dear friend this week about a mutual friend who is very ill. He told me not to "isolate yourself from those who love you". I had to take a hard look at myself. I am isolating myself. I limit my contacts with old friends because I don't like to worry them. As you can tell from this blog, I worry enough about me that they don't need to!!! Everyone has enough burdens to bear, I don't want to add mine to thier loads. I told him I will make reconnecting with friends my number one resolution and priority next year.
Tomorrow (or rather today since it is now early AM) I am seeing Dr. Calm the immunologist, and my PCP. The Legs are dancing tonight because it hurts too bad to hold them still. The Headache is OK, and The Belly is behaving for now. Just hurting a little too much to sleep. sigh. But life is still sweet and the sky will be blue in the morning and the moon sits like a pearl in the oyster of the milky way at night and somehow someway I will continue to see the day through.
Yes at least you have an appointment! Go from there.
ReplyDeleteWinny, you have a concerned and compassionate heart in not wanting to hurt people close to you. Makes sense. But, yes I guess you can hurt yourself in the end by missing out on some precious relationships. Glad you will reconnect.
Hope you were able to sleep.
JBR: Looks like we both were up in the wee hours of the morn!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the words of encouragement. Yes I will just go from the point of having an appointment and not let my cynical mind get ahead of me!!!
It's like I keep saying, I have this great plan for a new start but the dang pain keeps getting in my way of letting me start it!
ReplyDeleteI believe eventually we'll both get there. Especially you because your attitude is much better than mine!
A closer appt is a start. Let's even call it a blessing. Your first of many of 2011!
Kristen: The main issue is when like you and I there is more than one pain issue ongoing. I liken it to trying to stop a forest fire by using your foot to stomp out the flames - no matter how many you stomp out, there are more somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteMethinks we ALL have great attitudes!!!
I had an example growing up of a great-aunt whose body was so riddled by juvenile rheumatoid arthritis that the only joints that she could bend was the top of her neck, her jaw, her shoulders and her hips. When I think of how much pain she had to be in on a daily basis it boggles my mind. But she never ever mentioned it. She even managed to play piano with fingers that were curled and frozen and wrists that wouldn't bend, and loved children and loved to laugh. Amazing! I don't think I will ever be up to her level of perseverance but it is something to strive for!
Winny, I want to say thank you for your direct and funny comment to my recent post about my mum the one being locked up on vacation. I loved how you worded it. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteGW: It's really hard on mother birds when the fledglings fly the nest and start to soar. I think this next year is going to be a whole new adventure for you!!!
ReplyDelete