Sunday, December 6, 2009
Blues on My Mind
I'm thinking "Gloom despair and Agony on Me..." Well, maybe despair is going a little too far, but I'm definitely in the gloom and agony category tonight. Debating on whether or not to go to the emergency room. I really don't want to, but the pain and nausea of The Belly is pretty bad. It started getting worse this afternoon despite my attempts to medicate it. I will wait and see what it does later today as its 5 AM and I have not slept yet despite mucho medication.
I've missed a week of work last week, missed a week two weeks before that, and really can't afford to be off another week. But as sick as I am right now, I won't be able to get into work anyway. What a situation.. Darned if I do, and darned if I don't. Dagnabbit!
I have things to do at work that need to be done NOW not in two weeks when I feel better. I know I am not indespensible, and that work can go on without me, but I love my job. I take pride in my work, I enjoy the people I work with and for - I even enjoy the commute! Even though they are very kind about how ill I have been, I feel like I am letting them all down by not being there and fulfilling my part of the team work.
Just trying to stay upright (it seems to help The Belly) and keeping a heating pad warm and tucked in close to the old pancreas. Maybe I'll be able to go to bed in a little while, this will be the second non-sleeping night in a row. If I could catch up sleep in the daytime it wouldn't matter so much, but apparently The Belly hurts regardless of night or day so no sleepytime for me...