Wednesday, June 17, 2009
It's 3 AM - Hoping for a better Today!
Another Sleepless Night
It's in the middle of the night, just not able to go to sleep even with medication. My legs are malfunctioning, especially the right one, and I'm thinking if it keeps this up I will have to take yet another visit to another doctor to get some medication to short circuit the nerves. The last time it was this bad I took something called parafon forte, and it seemed to work marvelously except it made me excessively sleepy. Not something I want to take everyday for sure.
I am going to think of happier things for a little while - perhaps I can lull myself to sleep with happy thoughts. I'm picturing myself by a gurgling creek, with cool springy moss underfoot. I can feel the moisture in the air, and violets are blooming everywhere. The breeze brings the scent of fresh mown hay and newly turned earth. Tree toads are singing, and a mourning dove is calling for rain. The sun glints now and then between the heavey canopy of leaves from the surrounding trees. The pain from my legs is draining out into the wet grey clay by the side of the water and it is flowing away downstream, dissapating into the misty rapids below.
This has not been a great day for me, with the medication I have is just not up to the job. I feel like I have a "raw" nerve somewhere down in the gluteus region. When it goes off it starts a chain reaction that can go on for weeks, and I don't have time for this. Pain, Pain - go away - come again another day! I don't want to play this game anymore this week!
I have read that in rare cases radiation can remove the fatty sheath around nerves in spots (much like multiple sclerosis does). Wondering if this is what has happened to mine...sure feels like mine are misfiring in some way! The leg weakness is worse for me in summer also - I can't hardly walk across a hot parking lot - maybe it makes the nerves heat sensitive also - like an overheated computer circuit! Flakey legs instead of a flakey chip - that's the ticket!