Monday, July 19, 2010
Dreaming of Opalescent Windows
Very tired, am just posting before I go to bed - have just been up a few hours. I slept last night and all day today until night had fallen. I vaguely remember my sister coming over and people talking, but mostly I was dreaming about a house with opalescent windows.
The windows were in a semi round room full of furniture due to go to auction (I think I got the scene from a recent Antiques Roadshow episode). They were around the wall on the curved portion floor to ceiling rectangles of milky opal light. You could almost reach out and grab the light as it sparkled by. It was a peaceful room and I guess I needed to stay there because I dreamed and dreamed and dreamed about that house and room. In my dream it was in a small town near where I grew up, but of course the landscape had changed and there were several of these huge houses on the main street and I could not find a familiar house where an old friend grew up. How in the world do you identify a place specifically in a dream when nothing really looks like the place you specify?
I've graduated up to having a little more food. Am still not taking any pain medication. The Belly is reluctant to eat, and The Headache has not been cooperative today. I don't think it likes over sleeping. Have turned the head buzzer on high and have taken my faithful antidote of phenergan and benedryl a couple of hours ago, just not sure I will make it to bed soon, although I feel extremely tired.
Read a little more about radiation induced lumbosacral plexopathy (The Legs) and it seems the progression I am having is normal for this type of problem. I have an exacerbation of pain and dysfunction, and after recovery am worse than before the exacerbation. I am going to talk with my PCP about prognosis - I have tried everything and nothing has really helped the functionality. The myofascial release and PT excercises have helped my flexibility, just really haven't done anything yet for endurance and pain. Maybe I'm just too impatient. The problem is very difficult to distinguish from diabetic plexopathy and mutiple sclerosis, except for the bladder scarring/dysfunction and proctalgia which seem to be distinct for radiation damage.
I have felt very under the weather today, hoping tomorrow will be better! Good night all! Hoping you all had better weekends than I.