Friday, May 15, 2009
I've Got Hives
My Brain Needs Flossing
The Headache is wanting to kick up a fit this evening. I'm trying to go without indomethacin because The Belly is feeling so much better with a week's vacation from it, but I'm not sure if I can. I have some dilaudid as a rescue medication and am debating if I should take it or not. Delay too long and I can't keep it down yet it is so strong I hate to be knocked out for so many hours!
I had to turn off all lights in my light box of an office today. I practiced my biofeedback techniques and tried to conjure up the electrical feeling I had last week to get past The Headache today, but no go. Only got a few hours of work done. It must be fluorescent lighting week - one blogger was complaining about lights at work, another was posting about light covers for the compact fluorescents, and that reminded me of research I did several years ago for ergonomic light restriction when I supervised a crew that ranged from 30 to 75 persons over several shifts. I quickly googled fluorescent filters and found this site (I am sure there are more out there): www.ergomart.com. They aren't too expensive, and maybe I will get myself a few to knock down the glare. The light only bothers me when The Headache is misbehaving but that's quite a bit of the time!
Hard day today mood wise also. I strive to build empathy for others and if you have ever worked in the IT industry you would know that empathy for others can be in short supply. If your work's primary function is to be logical, empathy does not necessarily compute. Today was a struggle for me because I was in pain and the urge say "stupid user" as an explanation for everything is always there. Stupid user, stupid associate, stupid checker at grocery store, stupid doctors, stupid headache - stupid me. I was able to discern my over-reaction to others and I decided to go sunny side up, seized control of my mood and got past my own stupidity to work with my clients and coworkers in a positive and outgoing manner.
I wonder if ongoing pain removes your funny bone - a funny bone-ectomy?? Sometimes when the pain gets really bad I almost lose my sense of humor, but I find it again. I'm afraid one of these days it will get lost in the pit of pain and then I will be bitter grumpy and mean forever.