Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Head Doth Hurt

Me Without My Stimulator

A total unretouched unedited picture of me today.  The Headache rules. No electricity now for 24 hours.  My bosses, as always, were so nice when I called in sick today.  One even volunteered to drive me where ever I needed to go to pickup the new stimulator controller. 

Almost made me cry - well actually it did - but I'm very low at the moment.  I know its only temporary, but somehow it is like a flashback to a nightmare which was my two years prior to getting the stimulator installed.  It doesn't take much right now to tip me over the edge of tolerance.

Tonight I look like Hell.  In addition to the swelling of my left eye due to The Headache, the dilaudid I took is making The Hives more active and my entire face is swelling.  The indent around my right eye is where my face is swollen and touching my glasses.  Sorta like Mr. Peanut and his monicle!  And he carries a cane too - so maybe I'm am slowly metamorphosising [is that even a real word??] into Ms. Peanut!  Ewww - now I'm thinking Kafka and the book Metmorphosis!  Head - stop it!

The A-Team had no suggestions for pain, other than just keep medicating with dilaudid.  I'm leery to take more than one pill a day because I rebound so bad from it, but they said to take it every so many hours.  I'm thinking maybe tomorrow I will try and get an IV of solumedrol at the emergency room.  Depends on how bad it gets, but I don't think the dilaudid is going to cut it.  It reduces the pain a little bit and keeps it from going past my tolerance levels but with the puffiness going on even with antihistimines I am afraid to take a lot of it. 

My stimulator controller should be in by Fed Ex Monday, and the A-Team had no problem with me going there to get adjusted.   Yeah A-Team!  Dr. Hannibal Smith had actually done some research for St. Jude, so it was a happy coincidence for me. 

Monday can't come quick enough!  It's going to be a bad night tonight, and a very bad weekend too.  I'm definitely in Woe is Me land.  Note to self:  Suck it up, you can handle it!  Tomorrow is another day, and there is always Tara.


  1. Dear one you look awful! I am so very sorry for your pain!!!!

  2. {{{Winny}}} I can't wait for Monday to come either. The people you work for are really tops! Hang in there. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

  3. Oh honey that pic shows how bad you hurt. I truly cannot imagine.

    I do not think that this is just something that you can suck up.

    I am still praying that it gets better and you get some relief and rest.

  4. Thanks All. I'm wondering if you can have PTSD from a headache condition - truthfully. I had forgotten how life was before 6-30-2009 when I had my stimulator installed. Only two more days!

  5. thanks Fighter, not feeling strong this weekend!

  6. You can absolutely have ptsd from pain.

    Just keep breathing, friend. I'm so sorry you are hurting so badly right now.

  7. You know, when you have it daily you almost habituate to the pain, but I have had the luxury of being out of this kind of pain for awhile. So wishing no one had this EVER.

  8. Oh I am so sorry you feel so bad. I wish I could somehow help you. I am praying for you sweetie and hope Monday comes soon!!

    God Bless~
    Debbie Jean

  9. Debbie Jean: I am some better this evening - I guess taking enough medication today has helped. I dont' know why I get so stubborn about taking the high powered stuff.