Friday, January 1, 2010
A Lost Day
Pancreas Pity Party
Very sick today. Emphatically
Wishing I felt better. Definitely
Would like some energy. Hopefully
Reaction to pain. Negatively
Feeling sorry for myself. Partially
Not sure if the new pain meds are making me sick or my pancreas is making me sick. A problem, because I don't want to spend the $150 emergency room copay if I'm just making myself sick by taking new meds, but if it's my pancreas making me this sick it can be serious. I waited out today, but have been very nauseous and sick. I hurt through and through and it is becoming harder to inhale deeply because the pain goes through me and around my chest.
If tomorrow is the same or worse, I will probably make a trip to the ER. I am almost to the point I would welcome better pain management even if it means sitting in a hospital room for a couple of days. I wish I was a drinker or a smoker so at least I could have the standard pancreatitis excuse. As it is, I'm not sure why my pancreas decided to quit working other than the medications I was taking. According to what I have read, medication induced pancreatitis subsides after quitting the medication and I haven't taken any of the problem meds since May.
Hoping that this new year will be a good year. After the last two years I could use a good year, but the start of this one is about as bad as the two previous years. I feel like I'm moving in a thick fog - can't see where I'm going or where I've been just trusting that I will get through it somehow.
I'll try and get some quality sleep tonight and maybe in the morning I will wake up bright and cheery, my regular self. The pain is just getting me down today. The fight I fought against The Headache and won last year is now being waged against The Belly this year. Sigh...