Feeling Fifty

Bad Time On The Road

Went this week to train at our new site. They are wonderful, easy to train, eager to learn. I however was not so wonderful. I worked Sunday, worked until about 8:30 PM Monday, took until about 11 to get my work clothes ready and medication packed, got up at 5 AM drove two hours - tried to without pain meds, had to stop and take pain meds, and take a half hour to be safe to drive, so then that was two and a half hours, got to the client.

Instead of nine students I was expecting they had gotten enthusiastic and I had about 20 and they had seemingly overnight created a bigger classroom, which was great (even exceptional) - except I didn't have enough training sign ons or training licenses to accomodate this large of a group. I am anal about these things, and test everything before hand, but no way to test what I don't know. After an hour and a half delay to get this all setup, I whipped into training mode.

They were fantastic, but the organization that training large groups requires and the timing of how you train, and your "patter" (fill-in talk) while you try to observe what is going on is different. I would not have attempted to train such a large group by myself - normally that is a two man job. One to talk, one to observe and help. Ah well, we got through it, and they got trained, and The Belly protested, and The Headache reared its ugly head. I had three more sessions, one unplanned where a lady just came at the wrong time - I just trained her on the fly - why not?, and the first one I finally ended up breaking into two sections AND still got done on time. Am I a miracle worker or not? But I was wiped out by five o'clock. Generally I am the person who determines the class size, gets the particpants signed on, etc. This site has been chaotic for me because I do not have control of this. Serenity Now!!!!

I have let go of being in control months ago, but days like Tuesday and yesterday happen because bless their hearts my clients don't have any idea what goes into creating a training class (like licenses and sign on's and special data). I just try to be professional (my clients are not trying to create distress to my perfectionist training persona - that is all self inflicted) and go with the flow. I am a teacher in the fourth generation of females on my father's side, possibly fifth, so I just take the schoolmarm mojo and make it work.

I spent from six PM Tuesday to five PM yesterday (Wednesday) vomitting. I think the culprit was The Belly, but I can't rule out The Headache. I am so dissappointed in myself. I am working so hard to be stronger this year, and this - my first challenge - I managed to muscle through, but not without my clients knowing something was up yesterday. I had to rush out of training classes a few times to pake in the bathroom nearby. I managed to time it by the time 10 AM had rolled by and have class breaks so they wouldn't have to stop. Auuuugh!!! Poor clients!

I love the people I work for, and my Big Boss even told me he is trying to hire a training expert to take the load off of me. They are just the nicest people. God was steering me in the right direction seven years ago when I was searching for a good place to work, for good people. I was tired of corporate shennigans, outsourcing, protecting my people from downsizing, trying to do the right thing when the coroporate muckidemucks were determined to do the things that made them (personally - not the company) the most money. Soul weary I found this company, and they hired me!!! They keep me renewed even in times like this week when my body tells my mind it is time to quit.

I have gone off any pain medication today, didn't have any since Tuesday evening since I couldn't keep anything down. I'm going to see if I feel better even with more pain. I can't go around not able to take in fluids because I will end up in the hospital for sure. In quite a bit of pain - going to get dressed and head into work, even though I am late today. Push push push and see what breaks is my motto this week! Feeling all of my fifty years and then some today.