Today I was reading a post about chronic pain and "suffering". Suffering was defined as how the person with chronic pain perceives and responds to the pain. I'm not much for suffering. I am more into "enduring".
For me suffering is a state that has no end. Suffering makes me a victim of my pain. Endurance implies that I am accepting the reality of the pain yet not victimized by it. I hunker down and bear it the best I can. I endure.
Endurance is like running a marathon - its grueling but eventually there is a finish line. Sometimes I finish the race and sometimes the race is too much for my body and spirit to bear. Those times I fall by the wayside and the pain wins, but I don't suffer. I hurt. I endure.
I know that my pain issues will probably never be resolved. I don't pity myself (except on my three alotted self pity days per year). Even at the worst times I try to put myself and my pain in perspective (if I have any brain cells left that are not occupied with my immediate distress). There are people with worse issues than me. I don't have the co-morbidity of depression with my health problems, which I thank God for. I don't suffer. I endure.
The Legs have been bad th last couple of days but I have been medicating fairly adequately. I persuaded my boss that it would be OK for me to work at the client's until next week. He was concerned that I am overdoing it. That horse left the barn last week so I am not worrying about it. The company I work for is marvelous, wonderful, fantastic! My boss and fellow co-bosses are great. I push myself and they give me a reality check about what is wise for ME to do, not what benefits the company the most. I am pretty sure I can make it through until its time to go home. I endure.
The idea that we live with pain, but have the ability to reject suffering has been so liberating for me. Sometimes it's disheartening to think about always living with this level of pain and other yucky symptoms, but being able to look at my life that way has made it a lot easier to bear.
ReplyDeleteGlad that you are not vicitimized by your pain dear one. Sounds so good that your company is so supportive. Blessings and hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou are so lucky to have such a great support system at work. I do as well and it definately takes alot of pressure off me on those days where I already feel terrible.
ReplyDeleteI can now say I endure...NOT suffer!
Diana Lee: I agree. It's being able to take that step back and say, yes I am in pain but pain does not define me. I am MORE than the pain.
ReplyDeleteJBR: Hoping your headaches are behaving and your pain is being controlled. I thank God everyday for my employers!
Jessica: Yep it does take a ton of pressure off. Endurance RULES!!