Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Today I was reading a post about chronic pain and "suffering". Suffering was defined as how the person with chronic pain perceives and responds to the pain. I'm not much for suffering. I am more into "enduring".
For me suffering is a state that has no end. Suffering makes me a victim of my pain. Endurance implies that I am accepting the reality of the pain yet not victimized by it. I hunker down and bear it the best I can. I endure.
Endurance is like running a marathon - its grueling but eventually there is a finish line. Sometimes I finish the race and sometimes the race is too much for my body and spirit to bear. Those times I fall by the wayside and the pain wins, but I don't suffer. I hurt. I endure.
I know that my pain issues will probably never be resolved. I don't pity myself (except on my three alotted self pity days per year). Even at the worst times I try to put myself and my pain in perspective (if I have any brain cells left that are not occupied with my immediate distress). There are people with worse issues than me. I don't have the co-morbidity of depression with my health problems, which I thank God for. I don't suffer. I endure.
The Legs have been bad th last couple of days but I have been medicating fairly adequately. I persuaded my boss that it would be OK for me to work at the client's until next week. He was concerned that I am overdoing it. That horse left the barn last week so I am not worrying about it. The company I work for is marvelous, wonderful, fantastic! My boss and fellow co-bosses are great. I push myself and they give me a reality check about what is wise for ME to do, not what benefits the company the most. I am pretty sure I can make it through until its time to go home. I endure.