Lost Day

Sleeping The Day Away

Yesterday The Headache was very active, so I took benedryl and phenergan.  Maybe a touch more than I was able to handle.  Today I could not stay awake.  It might be because I did not sleep very well due to The Leg pain and pelvic pain (because I did not take any narcotic pain killers yesterday) or it might be that I took too much medication.  I took what was a normal amount of medication for me -  a total of 50 mg of phenergan for the day and 50 mg of benedryl.  Maybe it was a combination of both too little sleep and too much medication??

I have not taken any pain relieving medication today.  I have slept most of the day again.  I got up at 6 am like I do when I am planning to get to work at a regular time.  I fell asleep taking a bath.  I got dressed but fell asleep when I sat down to put on my slacks.  I sat on the couch to put on my shoes and fell asleep again.  I then got my stuff together to go out to the car but thought I need to sit and rest a minute.  The next thing I know its NOON.  I tried to get awake but I could only go a little ways and then rest and fall asleep again.  I gave up and called in.

I am trying to teach and train the new gal and guy as much as possible as quickly as possible.  I fear my body just isn't going to keep going no matter how much I want it too.  My will power just cannot overcome this any longer.  Things like today keep happening that I cannot plan for.  It is making me extremely aggravated...if I wasn't so durn sleepy!

Trouble breathing today too.  I am off the antibiotics but still using the inhaler.  Maybe that's why I was so sleepy?  I am still sleepy even now and I have slept and slept and slept.  The Headache is still way above normal but much better than yesterday.

Praying for a good night and a great morning tomorrow and a full day of work.  I have things to do and this lethargy is in my way.  Maybe the sleepiness will put me to sleep tonight because I am hurting quite a bit from The Legs.  I could use a great side effect tonight.  Yes sirree Bob!

Fading Away

Disappearing Into Shiiiiiiininess

Long day today.  Very tired, tried to get myself together to go to work and just couldn't think right.  I couldn't get my act together to do much, and was "drifty" (that was how it felt anyway).  I fell asleep a couple of times just sitting down, and have had trouble breathing and walking although it is better today than yesterday.  I don't remember calling in to work, but I also don't remember making lunch for my Mom and apparently I did that.  She said I made her some soup and tuna salad sandwiches.

I am not sure if the problem today is from being sick with the flu or from restarting the neurontin.  I had discontinued it last week because I was getting so dehydrated I needed to slow down my digestion a bit.  I wasn't able to keep fluids in no matter how much water I drank. The neurontin makes my very fast digestion go even faster, so I hoped that not taking it would make things a little better.  Couldn't really tell.  I restarted it last night because I noticed I couldn't sit or lie still because I was jittery from pain.

The Headache is a bit ouchy tonight and my legs are jumping and jiving as I have tried to hold off on the neurontin.  I am going to have to take it soon and just give up.  I really really need to get to work but I also have to be able to drive safely and THINK!!!

The Belly threw a fit this evening.  Sometimes the pancreatic pain is like having a steel tipped cowboy boot kick you right under the ribs pushing all your innards around!  Not pleasant, but it did go away so I am happy.

The Legs are not happy at all.  It is amazing when you are really acutely ill like I was with the flu all other aches and pains drop into the background, but as soon as you feel better they pop up again.  Sigh.

Feeling insubstantial and ephemeral. I don't think I am tethered to the real world very well today.  Wishing the floatiness would disappear and I can stomp my two ouchy and numb feet in the reliably stable workaday world and get on with business.  It has taken me five hours to compose this little piece because I keep getting distracted as in - "oooooo looooook at the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiny liiiiiiiiiiiights, ooooooooooo shinnnnnny" then "was I doing something??" then "wow, maybe I'll go over here, but where are my glasses??" then "ooooooooo...." ad infinitum. 

I'm going to take my neurontin and go to bed. I think I started some dishes in the dishwasher that need to be put up but I'm not sure.  I'm afraid to look because they might be clean and shiiiiiiiiiiny....

Lost Day Saturday

The Headache, The Belly

Another lost day. Friday at work I had to medicate at work. I looked back over my typing later and I don't think I spelled two words in a row correctly! Yikes! Not professional, but we are in the middle of testing some interactive components with another system so my body and mind were needed. I guess my body was there, and some of my mind.

Today I have tried to keep The Headache at bay medicating every four hours. I've slept a lot but The Headache is not behaving. I wish The Belly wasn't such a picky thing, because I feel if I had an 60 mg injection of toradol The Headache would drop back to obscurity. I have changed stimulator settings every so many hours also, hoping that changing things up will help. It has helped some - I'm not at an emergency room yet, and four months ago I definitely would have been.

The Belly is not happy today because I ate a real meal - not much of a meal, but real food. I thought perhaps some of The Headache was coming from not eating for so many days, so I had supper tonight. It's almost one in the morning and The Belly hasn't calmed down yet. I took the maximum pancreatic enzyme pills I was allowed before eating, but it didn't seem to help. Maybe my pancreas is plugged up so any food makes it hurt. I may have to take another trammadol for The Belly pain. It helps it some, but doesn't do anything for The Headache.

I'm ready to get back to normal but I don't think The Headache or The Belly is cooperating. I'm debating whether or not to try to go back on short term disability again. I've not worked full time days hardly at all the last couple of months. The fatigue is almost too much. I can't hardly keep on going I'm so tired, yet the pain is not allowing me to have restful sleep, even when drugged.

My niece who lives in Kansas gotten bitten by a feral cat she was feeding, and is now getting rabies shots. Cat bites are serious, and are always considered a medical emergency. My niece has a soft spot in her heart for all animals, especially abandoned animals, but this time the cat was either sick or scared or just plain mean and definitely bit the hand that fed it. The cat is in quarentine and hopefully will not display signs of rabies and my niece may not need to continue the rabies series, as they are painful.

The family history has a story about the "mad stone" that was passed around and used through the years. The mad stone was actually a bezoar taken from the stomach of a deer. Supposedly this stone could be used to cure rabies. I suppose they just laid it on someone who had rabies?? Don't think I would want to try it myself. Gross.

Another Lost Day

Rain Rain Go Away!

Today is another lost day. Medication I took to abate both The Headache and The Belly kept me asleep all day - I woke up briefly a couple of times, but that was it. I don't remember even calling in to work! I hope I did, but today is a blur.

The Belly is having a fit this evening with spasms of pain despite the trammadol. If it keeps up I may have to go have my enzymes checked. It is trumping The Headache this evening. I am afraid the indomethacin should be discontinued, but I haven't any alternatives at this time. Wishing my headache trial was at the occipital stimulator implant stage. I'm not sure if I can hang on taking the indomethacin until then, and I'm not ready to relive the hell my life was last year before the indomethacin.

My Easter company has left, and I don't even know when. I didn't even get to enjoy seeing them. I guess I'm just feeling down this evening. Maybe its just the weather that is getting me down. I have to trust that tomorrow will be a better day!