Screaming Inside

End of a Bad Week

Not a great week this week.  Glad to be rid of it and moving on to next week. The Legs and The Belly and The Headache and The Hives have all decided to descend on me this week.   I have been medicating more than I like to, and since I impulsively deleted data during my last hiatus in medicated Hell I did not try to work at all this week.  Not happy at all!

I am having difficulty sitting still this evening between all my oooboos and my hives.  Doing the dance of pain while trying to avoid scratching too much.  I fear it is my pain medication which is making the scratching and the hiving increase.  Just ready to sit here and scream, but I am practicing serenity and calmness so I am just screaming silently.

Everywhere my clothing touches my body, every bend and joint and wrinkle, is scratchy itchy burning lumpy misery.  I've been worse but it still is not pleasant.  My pain is less because I am medicated, but it doesn't do much good if I replace the pain with jumping nerve wracking hives.  Worried because I am almost out of pain medication options and since this reaction seems to be increasing with each dose of pain medication I have taken I fear this med is going to be off my list of remedies permanently.

I'm going to take a second dose of prednisone to see if it helps this evening.  It may be why the jitters are worse, since prednisone makes me a worse insomniac than I am already.  Oh what a tangled web of chemicals I have woven for myself.  Argh!
I woke up grumpy and itchy and in pain.  Not my usual cheerful self.   Need to do an attitude adjustment tonight in my sleep and slough off all my negativity and get back to my sunshiney normal disposition.  But even the bottoms of my feet itch so I'm definitely whiney.  On the upside my Mom is getting back to her normal grumpy self which makes my heart happy. 

If Mom has the energy to gripe then she is feeling much better!  I told her we are going to both be old grumpy seniors that sit around and complain about all the young whippersnappers and their strange disrepectful ways.  That generally elicits a laugh from Mom!  We worked on a crossword puzzle together this evening, and Mom was better at it than me.  I'm going to blame my lack of performance on my medication, but really my 80 year old Mom is fantastic at crosswords!  Hope I am that sharp if I make it to 80.

I'm going to go and slather my lumps in something to reduce the itching and go to bed. 

Need...More........Voltage...........

Crank Up the Amps

The Headache is having fun this week. Third bad day in a row, but at least I was able to work five hours. A mini triumph. If I could peck on the stimulator and give it a good shake I would. Is it working or is it not??? Maybe I will just turn up the controller and see what breaks first - me or The Headache.

My temper is simmering on high as is my blood pressure. I think if I did not have the electrical gadget in my head I might have ended up in the ER. I may yet. Grumpy is me, me am Grumpy. Nauseous is me, me am nauseous. Ouchy is me, me am ouchy. What games The Headache plays with my mind and my belly and my brain. I'm tired of playing, so I will take some meds and go to sleep again. I will try try try again tomorrow.

I work in the IT industry and work at sites all over the US remotely, and they decided a few weeks ago at work to start changing internal IP addresses for different VPN's one site at a time. They didn't come up with an elegant network solution for this, so all day long I was going into network properties and changing my IP address to the correct network IP for the VPN. The very first sites they chose are the newest site just now getting built, and one of our sites that requires the most work. I needed a scorecard because by the end of the day I don't which one I ended up in. Maybe that's why I'm Grumpy!

I did tell the big guy (my boss) that changing the IP is just not cutting it. There are ways around it, our network guys are brilliant - just too busy to fix it right. I think they need to juggle this all day without the tools they use, just like the rest of us. See I really am Grumpy! I generally am not gripey about work.