I have a little questionaire I run through on a periodic basis, to assess where I am verses where I was. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day aspects of managing my own multiple health issues and my mother's health issues, and caring for my mother, I lose perspective on the larger scale of how I am doing over time. I first wrote about this list in June 2010, and have added a few more questions since then:
- Do you have a life threatening illness? No, unless anaphylaxis counts
- This year to last year, health improved, worsened, same? Worsened
- This year to last year, finances improved, worsened, same? Worsened
- Is your family life stable? Not as much as last year
- Is your work life stable? Yes
- Are you not stressed, slightly stressed, really stressed? really stressed
- Are you feeling hopeless? No
- Are you tired? Yes, extremely so
- Have health problems affected your interaction with others? Yes
- Do you take yourself too seriously? Only under the cover of darkness!!!
- Do you have trouble concentrating? Most of the time
- Do your illnesses intefere with your ADLs? Yes
- Do you feel sorry for yourself? No
- Are you able to relax? Rarely
- Are you able to sleep? With Difficulty
- When you sleep is it quality sleep, leaving you rested? No
- Are there people worse off than you are? Yes Most Definitely
- Do you feel you are acting appropriately concerning your illness? Yes
- Do you still have a sense of humor? Some Days More than Others
- Despite your own issues do you have concern for other people's welfare? Yes
- Do you misuse or abuse medications given to you? No
- Do you project your feelings about your illness into your interactions with others? I hope not
- Have you put life plans on hold due to illness? Yes
- Do you feel illness has cheated you out of a life you deserved? No
- Are you happy/content? Yes
- Do you miss the life you used to have? Yes
- Do you ever have a day where your illness disappears? Not anymore
- Does your illness make you fearful? Yes, I fear reaching my pain endurance limit
- Do you find joy in common everyday events? Yes
- Do you feel your life, in all aspects, is better, worse, or the same from last year? Worse
Does this method really help anything? I am not sure it does. It makes me feel like I can make a difference in my own life. It helps me identify what works and keep doing that, identify what doesn't work and find a way to change it. I'm a planner and like to have things laid out so I know what to expect. Unfortunately one of the things I cannot control is the actual decline in my health and the rate of that decline.
There are a few questions that I consider true emergencies in self care that need to be taken care of ASAP. One of them is projecting feelings about my illness into my interactions with others, so if I am feeling negative about my illness I am reacting negatively to others. This is a sneaky one I have caught a couple of times just by using this questionaire. For me, I was able to do a self adjustment, some one else may want to seek outside help or counseling, or even not do anything. Another question I consider urgent is do I misuse or abuse medications given me. Since I take some powerful pain killers this is something I need to be aware of, because I feel it is just a short step to addictive behavior from physical addiction. The third "key indicator" for me is do I feel I am acting appropriately concerning my own illness. Obssessing too frequently or just ignoring health issues are both problems I feel I need to address on occassion. This blog is my outlet for obsession, and unfortunatley lately just ignoring health issues is not possible. Big Sigh.
Hope you all have a great week, I am including my personal anthem I play when life starts getting overwhelming, from one of my favorite groups Chumbawamba, called Tubthumping. I wish with my pancreatitis I could "piss the night away" with a whisky drink or a cider drink or a vodka drink once in a while - I guess listening to the song is my next best thing!!! My life is one big "I get knocked down, but I get up again" anthem. Sigh.
