Beanie and Gracie

Babysitting Bostons

I babysat my sister's Boston Terrier puppy Gracie (who is a year old this month) while she and her husband attended their grandchild's wedding.  My brother-in-law suffered a very very bad stroke a few years ago, and they seldom go out anymore, as he is hemiplegic and movement is painful on that side of his body.  This was quite an event for them to be away from home so many hours. It was a beautiful wedding, and their granddaughter was very happy they were able to attend. I was glad to babysit Gracie, she's a cutie pie pupperoni and tries to charm her way into many goodies.  She is much younger than my brother's Boston Beanie, but they play together like a couple of puppies.

There isn't much to babysitting Bostons as they tend to amuse themselves when in groups.  Most of the effort is just to keep them from running into furniture or over each other as they run and play.  Beanie was most kind as the older wiser dog, and let Gracie win most of the tug of wars.  He also graciously gave her a delicious Dingo Dog Bone to eat, which she offered to me to have a bite after it was all yucky and slobbery.  My dachshund Augie is the Dingo Dog Bone addict, and now has Beanie and Gracie hooked also!  Every once in a while they would all get tired and come and lay by me and rest.  Cute pups!

I get to visit with the A-Team and Dr. Hannibal Smith on Tuesday unless it gets rescheduled again.  First time rescheduled I had to travel, second time Dr. Smith had a conflict.  This will just be my second visit to this headache clinic, hoping I can get some new travel strategies to help me through this fall.  I'm also going to visit one of my Dr. Dunce team for cancer followup.  Hoping I won't get angry or frustrated for yet another conversation about how radiation therapy is not the cause of my leg problems, my incontinence issues, my pelvic pain issues.  I have spent money I did not have trying to prove that the radiation therapy was NOT the cause and have come up dry.  I am through considering other possible causes because it just gets my hopes up and I just don't have the strength to be disappointed one more time.

Dr. Sassypants the physiatrist wasn't much help with the legs after a promising beginning but he has definitely ruled out mechanical or arthritic conditions.  Besides getting another nerve stimulator he recommended I study chronic pain and its effect on the brain/body connection but I have gone down the psychiatric mind over body route with The Headache, and have little desire to revisit for The Legs.  I understand the issues with chronic pain creating permanent pathways in the brain, signaling pain even when the original injury has healed. I have the ability to ignore rather high levels of pain (because I compare most pain to The Headache and that's a pretty high bar), but actual physical dysfunction such as weakness and numbness are more the problem for me. I do have to admit that I feel my endurance had increased due to the physicial therapy exercises I am practicing. I hope to continue with physical therapy this fall when I have a little more time, and perhaps get with their pelvic pain specialist.

Both Dr. Sassypants and my PCP talked with me about just quitting work, but I'm not ready to give up yet not only because I can't afford to quite working, but because my employer is really great about trying to work around my limitations with me!!  If I can contribute, I will continue.  If I feel I am not able to contribute anymore then I'm not sure what I'll do.  Sigh.

Looking forward to next week, and working with our new team member at work.  I haven't had a lot of energy today, but am hoping to work with my insomnia and finish some files for a client tonight.  Sometimes it doesn't pay to fight my inability to sleep and just go with the flow and do something productive when the brain allows!

Larry Moe And Curly

Another Doctor Dunce Day

My three kidney stones have officially "left the building" Spent about six hours yesterday in the emergency room, trying to stop vomiting. Finally got that stopped, and XRays show no more kidney stones. I had named my stones Larry Moe and Curly since they were doing a number on my plumbing. The ER doc thought having all three passing was why I was having such a problem with nausea and that the episode seemed to go on and on and on.

Phenergan had not worked to stop the nausea, so we tried Zofran (which a nurse friend of mine had recommended some months ago). It took a lot of Zofran to get The Belly to settle down, but it did the job on the second try. I go to see my regular physician for a followup tomorrow afternoon. I feel tons better today, so Yeah!!

The Headache is still hanging around but just in the background. I can pretend some days it isn't even there! I'm getting so used to the stimulator that I forget it is installed. The worst part is remembering not to jerk my neck suddenly. I'm feeling ready to be back at work full time, and will try hitting it as hard as I can this week because I have several projects to get caught up on. I was not planning on the kidney stone hiatus.

I saw my radiation oncologist [Dr. Dunce #3] for my yearly appointment. We discussed my problems from the radiation therapy from 2004..at least I discussed and he tried to tell me it was not possible. I patiently listened while he tried to blame #1 my diabetes (which started just before I was diagnosed with cancer and has been in excellent control since) #2 my hysterectomy operation #3 the arthritis in my lower spine which coincidentally is only in the pelvic radiation field. He said if I had damage from radiation I would have bled just buckets and buckets of blood. I find that hard to believe, as there are tons of peer reviewed articles that mention fibrosis as a radiation side effect, and bleeding copiously is not mentioned as a prerequisite. I have had thousands of dollars worth of tests trying to find any other cause for my problems, and so far have not been able to come up with anything.

He had not bothered to review my medical records from the last year before I saw him. I find that aggravating. I know he has many patients in active treatment, but take five minutes to glance over the information before coming into the exam room.

This was supposed by be my last appointment with him - I was to be released, but even though he swears I could not have experienced radiation damage he wants to follow me for another year. He said my MRI had evidence of a pinched nerve at S1 on my spine, and I made him read the radiologist's report for me (as I had already read it because I pull ALL tests results for my own records) from my last pelvic MRI and repeat out loud the part that said no stenosis or nerve impingement found. He acted surprised that I have been having pelvic pain and at the same time altered or lack of sensation although we have discussed it every appointment we have had as it has worsened over the years. I guess he only documents "positive" comments and ignores the rest?

I asked him what my next step should be, who should I consult and his reply was to shrug and say "I don't know." Not "let's find out - I need to research this a little longer" or "maybe you should talk to your PCP concerning this" - just "I don't know". Oooh, I felt like screaming! The Doctor Dunces are all from the "I don't know - you figure it out" school of "Ignore it and it will go away" (it being the annoying patient) Medical College. I think they also aspire to the magical thinking theory of medicine - think good thoughts and everything will magically be all better. I'd get better treatment at the Christian Science Reading Room down the road from the Onocology building. At least they take action through prayer!

He also said he would be interested in what I find out. Find out what, from whom?? If he's so interested then refer me somewhere so they will be sure to share the information with him. Otherwise if I have to do all the legwork, I'm not going to have any desire to educate my Dr. Dunce physician.

By the way, I once read there are just two types of people in the world: those who LOVE the Three Stooges and those who HATE the Three Stooges. Which side of the fence do you sit on?? I'm definitely a Stooge lover. Maybe because there is a little bit of Moe in me?