Ambulance Ride to The ER
Haven't been blogging much the last few weeks as I have been traveling for work and have been very tired. It's going to be a year for travel if I manage to stay employed. After last weekend, I'm not sure what I should be doing.
I had a very tiring and stressful week - not bad stress, just stress of trying to accomplish my mission for work in an environment where the client's decisions impact my ability to succeed. I am very goal oriented, and last week fell back to my old habit of doing "what it takes" to get the job done, regardless of the consequences to my health. I did it again this week too, am going to have to give myself a pep talk about self care to bring myself back to practical goals that don't send me to the hospital.
Friday The Headache was trying to make a comeback. I had worked long long days for the last 10 days before, and The Headache had had enough! I drove the two hours home that night just hoping I could make it there without having to pull over at a nearby hospital. I was difinitely bumming. I got home, and Saturday cleaned house, did my grocery shopping, cooked dinner after not sleeping at all Friday night. The Headache seemed to go back to a simmer, but Sunday it was blazing back to full blast. Worst headache I had had in months. I had forgotten how bad it can get.
I had been having pain like this every three to four days last year, so I guess one day so far this year is a big big improvement (thank you occipital stimulator!!). I had not realized how bad The Headache was getting and by the time I knew I was in deep doo doo, I was in the shape where I could not drive. I called an ambulance, and once I got to the nearest emergency room I was in so much pain from The Headache that all I could do was shake from the pain. I was basically incoherent, so it was a good thing I had not tried to drive.
I was still working at the client's site so the next morning I struggled to get ready and pack and head out. The decadron took my voice away - steroids do that to me. I go from a tinny Minnie Mouse voice to a baritone Miley Cyrus voice. Not sure why, just another example of why steroids are not a very good thing to have to take!! I stayed at the clients until yesterady evening, and have worked a little from home today and will go back to work tomorrow.
It may be the steroids, or maybe just the shock of the intense pain, but I am very shakey today. My legs are wobbly, and I am having a lot of trouble concentrating. The Belly is acting up, but I know from past experience steroids mess with my pancreas so I'm guessing that is why.
I am supposed to go to the client's again next week. Sigh. Not sure if I am physically up to it. You know, I found this job seven years ago and it has been a dream job for me. Love the work, love the people, love the clients. I'm not ready to let it go, but I'm not sure if I can figure out a way to accomplish what I need to do. The new trainer that was hired has already left the company. I can honestly say I didn't scare her off, as I have been at the client's all this week, but I am very discouraged because I wanted to have someone I could hand responsibilities off to so if I needed to fade off the job I wouldn't feel I left my bosses in the lurch. (Wow, was that a run on sentence or what?? I'm blaming the steroids!)
The Headache is being contrary this evening probably because I have not rested it this week either. I am going to take a pain pill for The Belly (I haven't been taking any because they seem to aggravate The Headache) and go to sleep. Hoping you, my friends, have a pain free night!
