I babysat my sister's Boston Terrier puppy Gracie (who is a year old this month) while she and her husband attended their grandchild's wedding. My brother-in-law suffered a very very bad stroke a few years ago, and they seldom go out anymore, as he is hemiplegic and movement is painful on that side of his body. This was quite an event for them to be away from home so many hours. It was a beautiful wedding, and their granddaughter was very happy they were able to attend. I was glad to babysit Gracie, she's a cutie pie pupperoni and tries to charm her way into many goodies. She is much younger than my brother's Boston Beanie, but they play together like a couple of puppies.
I get to visit with the A-Team and Dr. Hannibal Smith on Tuesday unless it gets rescheduled again. First time rescheduled I had to travel, second time Dr. Smith had a conflict. This will just be my second visit to this headache clinic, hoping I can get some new travel strategies to help me through this fall. I'm also going to visit one of my Dr. Dunce team for cancer followup. Hoping I won't get angry or frustrated for yet another conversation about how radiation therapy is not the cause of my leg problems, my incontinence issues, my pelvic pain issues. I have spent money I did not have trying to prove that the radiation therapy was NOT the cause and have come up dry. I am through considering other possible causes because it just gets my hopes up and I just don't have the strength to be disappointed one more time.
Dr. Sassypants the physiatrist wasn't much help with the legs after a promising beginning but he has definitely ruled out mechanical or arthritic conditions. Besides getting another nerve stimulator he recommended I study chronic pain and its effect on the brain/body connection but I have gone down the psychiatric mind over body route with The Headache, and have little desire to revisit for The Legs. I understand the issues with chronic pain creating permanent pathways in the brain, signaling pain even when the original injury has healed. I have the ability to ignore rather high levels of pain (because I compare most pain to The Headache and that's a pretty high bar), but actual physical dysfunction such as weakness and numbness are more the problem for me. I do have to admit that I feel my endurance had increased due to the physicial therapy exercises I am practicing. I hope to continue with physical therapy this fall when I have a little more time, and perhaps get with their pelvic pain specialist.
Both Dr. Sassypants and my PCP talked with me about just quitting work, but I'm not ready to give up yet not only because I can't afford to quite working, but because my employer is really great about trying to work around my limitations with me!! If I can contribute, I will continue. If I feel I am not able to contribute anymore then I'm not sure what I'll do. Sigh.
Looking forward to next week, and working with our new team member at work. I haven't had a lot of energy today, but am hoping to work with my insomnia and finish some files for a client tonight. Sometimes it doesn't pay to fight my inability to sleep and just go with the flow and do something productive when the brain allows!
