Disaster Day

Car Trouble Troubles

On my way to a doctor appointment this morning, and then to work when my car broke down on the interstate.  Not completely broken down, but I had the accelerator pedal to the floor and all the faster the car would go was 20 mph.  I could have run faster even with BLING.  I was able to drive on the emergency strip and get to an exit to see if my brother could help.  My poor old car belched blue and white smoke and back fired on the way off the interstate and THEN I could hear something that sounded like an exhaust leak or a vacuum leak.  Big Sigh.

This is the bad part about everyone you know being broke - just getting someone to drive 15 miles to follow you back in your sucky car is an adventure in frustration.  I was lucky, my brother was able to drive to my sisters and borrow her vehicle to come and drive behind me home.  He is retired, but worked for years as a master mechanic for large equipment, so he did some basic diagnosing of the car.

Ended up changing the fuel filter, changing the spark plugs, fixing a vacuum leak and THEN finding the cause of it all - an electronic solid state gadget the spark plug wires and the fuel system computer plug into.  Eighty some dollars later (I already had the spark plugs or that would have been another $45) my old Taurus was purring like a kitten and actually accelerated when I gave it more gas!  No telling how long that doodad was going out.  My car has about 190,000 miles on it.  I bought it brand new in 2002 with my last perk from the great big giant insurance company I used to work for - a Ford employee discount.  I hope that it lasts for quite a while longer as I don't know how I will be able to replace it.  I told a gal at work when I called in today that if I showed up to work in a 1988 Marquis then they would know the Taurus had bit the dust, and that was all I could afford to replace it with!!!

I missed my dermatology appointment but will call tomorrow morning to rebook.  Now it will probably be years into the future - the dermatologist will have to check my wrinkles for wrinkles!  Dr. Calm was so nice, he called Dr. Pepper and they cancelled the IVP.  Now I will have to have an outpatient procedure that requires general anesthesia called cystoscopy with retrograde pyelogram.  Dr. Pepper's nurse gave me some attitude this morning when I called to make sure the IVP and the followup doctor visit had been cancelled, but then lightened up later when she figured out her own doctor cancelled the procedure.

The urologist will insert a cystoscope via the urethra into the bladder, and then up the ureters towards the kidney.  The urologist's nurse assured me there would be NO contrast used, however all the literature on the web says that it is a type of fluoroscopy procedure and that a small amount of iodinated contrast will be used.  I am not going to give permission for any iodinated contrast to be used.  The ERCP I had for my pancreatic/biliary sphincterotomy I expressed concern about the contrast and  was told it was a small amount yet I had anaphylaxis and I came out of the hospital with my permanent headache.  It just isn't worth it to me.

I go in for that on May 11th.  I have been so sick last weekend and today with abdominal issues.  I have spikes of pain piercing my left temple as The Headache has slipped its bounds.  I have terrible nausea and I have been doing the dance of pain all evening between The Feet, The Legs, The Abdomen, and The Pelvis.  Hoping maybe this test will help me figure out what is happening but truly doubt it will do anything except let me meet my out of pocket maximum by May 12th.

I need to call tomorrow to check with Dr. House's staff about the rest of my blood tests.  Apparently the doctors learning the trade there could not figure out what lab tests had been ordered, vs. resulted, vs. in the chart, so I have to call back this week.  Another Big Sigh.  I wish I was rich and had an assistant to do this for me! 

Another task ahead of me is getting a full dental evaluation as my PCP and I discussed the sad shape of my teeth.  Once I had very nice teeth, but now the enamel is falling off, and the enamel on the back of my upper teeth is missing, due to excessive vomiting from my digestive issues.  I would like to get a couple of implants before going the false chopper direction, but due to my diminished financial circumstances fear I will have to end up at the local discount dental butcher shop and get the teeth pulled and some cheap choppers stuck on.  Life in the economy lane is not very fun when it comes to dental work.

Got My Tiara Serviced

Now Where's My Invite??

No invitation to the royal wedding even though I am absolutely positively certain (as far as I could possibly be from cadging other people's research on Ancestry.com) I have royal blood, even if it is diluted by about four or five hundred years of peasant DNA.  I've got my imaginary tiara all polished up and shiny just for the occasion,  I am very sad I was not invited but I would have had to decline anyway because I have yet another doctor appointment tomorrow.

I saw Dr. Pepper today, and good news - no UTI on the urinalysis dip stick test.  Bad news - he can't tell if I have a kidney infection even tho I am running a fever.  He decided to poke me in The Belly.  Not such a good thing for me.  Now I am having periods of great pain, spasms from my picky pancreas, and spasms from my right kidney and ureter.  I asked him not to poke but he wasn't listening or was just going to do it anyway.  I would like him to sit for hours in this kind of hurt (even with a pain patch on) just because some decided to feel his liver.  The Xray of my kidneys didn't show any stones still there, so it will take awhile for me to build some up again.  WooHoo!!!  Not so good news, he wants to an IVP next Tuesday to check the plumbing to make sure there are no obstructions and maybe see a reason for the fever.  Sometimes soft tissue problems are hard to see on CT's and Xrays (and I can't do MRI's because of my occipital stimulator implant).

I had hives when I had an IVP in the 1990's because of kidney issues (which were really because the growing cancer in my uterus was pulling down on my right kidney).  Contrast is injected in order to visualize the flow of urine.  It was the first time I had a reaction to contrast media.  Now I have anaphylactic reactions even to minute amounts of contrast media.  Dr. Pepper ordered a pre-treatment medication protocol for me (generally prednisone and benedryl) but I am not sure if I should move forward with the scheduled test.

I am about ready to chicken out of the test. The pain and swelling and breathing problems that come from having an anaphylactic reaction are very scary. The last one I had during a MRI no one was there to treat the reaction and I had to drive myself to the urgent care a couple of blocks away, while my blood pressure was dropping and my breathing got very raspy. I managed to get myself into urgent care, and walked up to the desk and whispered (because my vocal cords were swelling) that this was an emergency reaction. I am sure the beautiful outcrop of large red hives all over my face made me quite the sight. They had me back in seconds giving me epinephrine. I now carry my epipens with me even to healthcare appointments because I could have died in the time it took me to get to my car, start it, drive 2 blocks, park it and walk into the urgent care. Just reinforced my lack of faith in the competency of local medical facilities.

I see Dr. Calm my immunologist tomorrow.  I hope he can give me some guidance on the wisdom of avoiding the IVP or the efficacy of the pre-medication pack.  I am hiving a great deal still, and definitely don't want to make it worse.

My sister and I were commiserating about how hard it is to arrange appointments, work with co-pays and deductibles, and just get responsible followup care.  I feel that my health management is pretty much up to me to keep track of all of this, and I just get tired of trying. I'm thinking give me a $10.00  prescription of antibiotics and I wouldn't need a test at all.

Adding a nice pipe organ rendering of Felix Mendelssohn's Wedding March to fend off my royal wedding blues.  However, the way I am feeling I may be up in the wee hours of this morning so maybe I will watch. Hoping you all have a Royally good time tomorrow and don't get too bored with all the coverage.

Yodarific Day

How Wizened I Am

My boss The Big Guy nicknamed me Yoda on a conference call with a client a few weeks ago.  I guess I have become the mysterious guru who comes and goes on a whim to whip out some knowledge on the younglings every once in a while.  I certainly hope its not because I have hair growing out of my ears.  As I get older I am getting more drawn up and cane dependent every day, making me even shorter and dumpier.  I am going to have to start talking like Yoda now - croaking out a few words and then going Hmmmmmmm.  That can only make me seem wiser to uninitiated!

Went into work today just to sit in on a conference call to a new client.  They are super nice, and actually recognized my WooHoo over the phone!  Since I have a voice (unlike Yoda) that can call hogs three hollers over it is not surprising.  Hmmmmmmmmmm, yes??

The rains have been torrential here, with lakes overflowing and rivers flooding.  Here it has been ants invading the house as their outside environment floods.  I remembered a trick I picked up on PBS - flour kills ants or drives them away.  We had hundreds and hundreds of ants trailing across the house.  A judicious use of all purpose flour along their paths and ants disappeared.  Disappearing ants, good, yes??? Hmmmmmmmm.

I see Dr. Pepper my urologist tomorrow, have been sick for a week now, pretty sure it's not the flu, think it an infection left over from the last Kidney Stone. Big Sigh...any more it's harder to pry an antibiotic out of a doctor than it is getting a pain pill.  Too many antibiotic resistant infections rolling around, yes??  Hmmmmmmm. Ick.

I am stalling on the decision to try for disability.  I keep thinking I will be getting better one of these days.  I am still hoping I will get some blood test results back from Dr. House, although all I know so far is that I don't have a problem with my cryoglobulins (part of the blood affected by cold).  I think, if I just work the perfect number of hours, maybe I can just get my body working at maximum capacity.  Maybe I need more of the Force to levitate myself around....Hmmmmmmmmmm. 

At least I have found my ideal theme song to play whenever I enter a room!!!

Buffalo Herd Skating = Happiness?

Knuckle Down Buckle Down and Do It

 My sister reminded me today of an old Roger Miller song, Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd, we used to sing and I'm thinking that's my answer. Been in the dumps lately, can't seem to climb out....maybe all I've got to do is Knuckle Down, Buckle Down, and Do It, Do It, Do It to get my happy back.

Traveled a few days last week to a new client.  Love the interaction, traveled with a great crew, but I did a dumb thing.  I forgot my cane BLING.  I left it setting on the edge of the table in the sunroom.  Legs don't fail me now I was thinking.  I could have gotten myself a new cane on the way but I thought - I will be sitting down most of the time, I won't need it.  Wrong!  It's been payback time since Thursday night.  I couldn't even safely drive to work Friday, my feet wouldn't push against the brake pedals well enough to stop.  They have been in spasms and hurting ever since.

The Legs were functional for the most part during the trip.  I was able to tip myself up on the feet and once I got tromping The Legs got with the program.  Late at night and these last few days The Legs got really upset with me.  Oh. My. God.  Wish I had an off switch.  I found some lidoderm patches I had packed in this luggage from a couple of years ago when my occipital stimulator got installed (hadn't used this particular piece of luggage for quite a while!!).  I used a couple and they helped some of the cramping in my calves, so I may ask my PCP Monday if he could prescribe these for me to try.  I'd like to exhaust all avenues before trying to increase pain medication again and I don't think pain meds will help the cramping muscle problems anyway.  Sigh.

Last weekend a friend came over and we went to Sonic and laughed and talked and had a great time during the 50% off drink special - I had a strawberry limeade - my favorite.  I needed some time to be a person instead of a caretaker for awhile and just to listen to her talk about her daughter and her grandbabies was great. Her oldest grandbaby is in high school now!!!  I remember when he was born.   Big Sigh!!

The cleaning rampage is continuing but at a slower pace.  Thank heaven!  Must have been a full moon or something to put me over the edge.  For me, when I am upset I quit eating and I want to clean everything.  If you saw me and my house, you would know I am seldom upset!!  Ha!  So maybe cleaning was a way to metaphorically clean house upstairs in my brain too.

Maybe all the cleaning and the travel has been too much exercise for The Headache.  I have had to up the voltage and change the programs in my occipital stimulator quite a few times this week.   Perhaps it is the horrid wet windy weather?  Just wish it would behave while The Legs are dancing in pain.  The Belly has been in a fix too, I think it is because I ate some "fry bread" vegetarian taco's at the client's cafeteria last week.  Delicious but way way way too much fat!!  Their chef was so kind when she found out I had a mammalian meat allergy tho.  She had actually heard of it, so woohoo!!!

I am waiting for my blood test results from Dr. House in St. Louis.  I left a message last week, but was gone most of the week so I don't know if he tried to catch me at home or not.  I am just guessing since I have not heard from them that my test results were normal.  Generally in health care they don't waste time giving you bad news, but are in no hurry at all to give you good news.

This next week I have at least 3 or 4 doctor appointments.  I see my PCP about The Legs tomorrow, and a followup on the kidney stones.  I have been running a pretty good sized fever and have been off antibiotics for about five days so suspect I still have an infection.  The nerve damage in my pelvic area is so bad I cannot tell if I have a bladder infection until I am throwing up and have terrible back pain, so it is difficult for me to know what is causing the fevers.  I see Dr. Calm (my immunologist) for a routine followup, and since The Hives have been especially vile lately I will see if he recommends anything more than I am doing.  I would like to have Dr. House's results before that appointment in case something immunological popped up.  I also see my urologist, Dr. Pepper, next week for a specialist followup for the kidney stones.   Since the stones didn't move through very well this time the ER doc I saw after the infection set in suggested I see my specialist.  Big Sigh Again.

I am waiting to hear back from Dr. House before really deciding about retiring because of disability.  I guess I am keeping some obscure hope alive that something might be wrong with The Legs that I can fix.  I want a full array of information before I try to make a life changing decision.

I will try and reach for my happiness again this week.  I feel defeated, withdrawn, overwhelmed with my own issues and with handling other people's issues in my home.  I need to strap on my roller skates and get out there with the buffaloes and go for it, no matter what the song says.  I might just succeed!!!