Working Towards Better Attitude

Neurontin Day 2

Galatians 5:11
...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness
Bible, New International Version (©1984)

Trying today to focus on positive aspects of my life.  I need to reach down deep and start moving forward again.  I really feel like I am on a treadmill - running and running but getting nowhere fast.  I have the scripture above hanging on the wall of my office where I can glance at it throughout the day.  I remind myself that I need to be patient and kind, steadfast and faithful in my dealings with customers and with my coworkers and family. 

Day 2 Neurontin

The leg pain has been flucutaing throughout the day, sometimes not bad, sometimes horrendous.  I have had to do the dance of pain several times today.  The pelvic pain is a little improved, but remains excruciatingly present.  The neurontin has increased the diarrhea and nausea is constant.  I am dizzy and having trouble focusing my eyes.  The burning is almost gone in my feet, but the sharp stabbing pains persist.  I am having new pain in The Belly and pray it is not pancreatitis again.  I am sleepy but I can't fall asleep.

Having hives again this evening, not as bad as yesterday.  Am going to bed in a few minutes. I feel really brain damaged this evening, suspect it is the medication, so I hope what I have written is comprehensable. I will try to sleep it off tonight   Hoping you all have pain free days and restful nights.

A Lost Day

Pancreas Pity Party


Very sick today. Emphatically


Wishing I felt better. Definitely


Would like some energy. Hopefully


Reaction to pain. Negatively


Feeling sorry for myself. Partially

Not sure if the new pain meds are making me sick or my pancreas is making me sick. A problem, because I don't want to spend the $150 emergency room copay if I'm just making myself sick by taking new meds, but if it's my pancreas making me this sick it can be serious. I waited out today, but have been very nauseous and sick. I hurt through and through and it is becoming harder to inhale deeply because the pain goes through me and around my chest.

If tomorrow is the same or worse, I will probably make a trip to the ER. I am almost to the point I would welcome better pain management even if it means sitting in a hospital room for a couple of days. I wish I was a drinker or a smoker so at least I could have the standard pancreatitis excuse. As it is, I'm not sure why my pancreas decided to quit working other than the medications I was taking. According to what I have read, medication induced pancreatitis subsides after quitting the medication and I haven't taken any of the problem meds since May.

Hoping that this new year will be a good year. After the last two years I could use a good year, but the start of this one is about as bad as the two previous years. I feel like I'm moving in a thick fog - can't see where I'm going or where I've been just trusting that I will get through it somehow.

I'll try and get some quality sleep tonight and maybe in the morning I will wake up bright and cheery, my regular self. The pain is just getting me down today. The fight I fought against The Headache and won last year is now being waged against The Belly this year. Sigh...

Yet Another Doctor Appointment

The Belly Rules the Day

Yet another doctor appointment in the maze of doctor appointments my life has become. Whatever happened to one stop shopping for medical help? I have so many specialisits that coordinating care between the specialists and my primary care doc is a full time job.

I now have some pancreatic enzymes to take to try to fix The Belly, which got upset because The Headache likes medicine The Belly doesn't care for. I'm just waiting for The Pooper to chime in and demand its share of attention. Who would think that such an ugly looking thing as the pancreas could make The Belly hurt so much?

I told my nieces that I am going to have a Pancreas Party when I get this thing working right - the way its going it will be a couple of years.

Not a bad day, The Headache was resting today - just a sour undercurrent of headachiness waiting for another day to pass before livening up again. I was able to work a few hours. My bosses are saints, but one of these days they are going to need me full time again and I don't know how the old body will take it, and then I suppose it will be goodbye bosses hello unemployment.

One part breaks, puts stress on another in a roller coaster of medication and problems - I don't have a warranty on any of it anymore and its too late to buy the extended one!

Company At the Homestead

Tired Old Ladies

We were visted yesterday and today by a hoard of great-nephews and a niece and an ex-sister-in-law who is now my first cousin (don't ask it's too confusing to explain!). The boys flowed through the house like a river of fish, taking different streams everytime they went from the front door to the back!!!

Their grandpa (my brother) took them to a movie today, and one stayed behind and played Playstation games all the while the rest were gone. They were all good boys and hopefully had a really good last weekend for their vacation. For all of them, school starts tomorrow! I found a picture of one of them - Trenton - but they all four were equally cute!

I didn't have to cook for them, as we had pizza yesterday and grandpa brought sandwich fixin's today. Thank goodness, because great-grandma and I are tired old ladies and keeping up with all the comings and goings was plenty enough for us. I can see why child-rearing is for the young and spry! Their momma/aunt and grandma kept pretty good track of them - it's just that we aren't used to all that quick movement!!

Note to self on the pizza: Don't think the pancreas likes pizza yet - remember not to try to eat any for a few weeks! Another broken part, another piece with no extended warranty!