Warning: Headache in Progress

Got the Pain Jitters

The Headache is coming alive this evening. Had a good day yesterday as far as The Headache was concerned, but it is growing again. I have been imagining myself somewhere quiet and dark, but it is already quiet and dark here so I don't have to stretch my imagination very far. Thank heavens because the brain is just limping along.

Having issues sitting still - guess I will take my good old fashioned benedryl phenergan Ultram cocktail and see if I can still the troubled brain. Going to work tomorrow and try to catch up from the sciatic disaster from last week. Still hurting from that, but at least at livable levels. I can walk without just scooting my feet around - Yeah!!! Not looking forward to the tests next Wednesday since I am afraid they may cause the sciatica to act up again.

I am tired yet I have not done anything this weekend. I need to buy groceries and clean house desparately but didn't want to risk riling up the legs like last week. The dirt will be there when I get around to getting rid of it - it definitely isn't going to run away and leave the floor clean like magic. I wish I had some of those magic elves/brownies like in the fairy tales that come and do all your work for you while you are asleep. Maybe an oompa loompa or two would make work lighter - but they are sooo judgemental!!! Considering my short stature, I'm probably only an inch or two from oompa loompadom myself. :) By state law if I shrink another inch I'll have to buy a booster seat to drive!

Bad Headache Day #31 2009

My Brain is like a Wrung Out Sham Wow

Second bad day in a row - due for a better day tomorrow (or I should say today - can't sleep and its 2 AM). My brain has been swollen too big for my skull for quite a few hours, now it feels like its been squeezed dry and is all crinkly and ouchy. Medication isn't doing anything at this point - but The Headache seems to be idling right now. I hope that it decides to keep on idling for the next few days because I have some important things to do at work.

Filing another extension on my short term disability this week. I'm disappointed that this is necessary, but its taking quite a while to get the stimulator installed. My PCP (when he signed the paperwork) asked me about how well the trial stimulator worked, and I said didn't kill the pain entirely but seemed to keep the pain from getting worse. He told me I may have to stay on some sort of medication. I stated that I will wait and see - the permanent implant may work better than the trial. For one thing I get to keep it instead of returning it in a week!

I can't sleep and now I have the echoes of the Sham Wow guy's voice bouncing around in my skull. Yee Haw! Or should I say "Sham Wow!"??

Bad Headache Days 26 & 27 2009

Over the Flu, The Headache Takes Command!

Yesterday was a lost day. Between the pain and the medication, I was not able to do anything but be in pain and lie still. The pain was bad enough medication didn't really help, and the medication wasn't strong enough to put me to sleep. Today hasn't been much better.

When you are in the pit of pain, the walls are steep and dark and there are no handholds or stairs or ladders to get you out. You pray that the pit doesn't sink you deeper and deeper into pain to where you can't even see daylight anymore. Your mind becomes preoccupied with the pain, how to handle the pain, what to do for the pain, where to escape from the pain, to the point all other thoughts flee. At a certain point (for me at about 9.8 on a 10 point richter scale of pain) your body ceases to obey you, quivering and shivering and crying. The pain now commands you.

Each day you take the risk of inviting The Headache to errupt into the pain frenzy it loves. Sometimes it is just going to grocery store that opens the door to more pain, sometimes it is just driving to work, sometimes you don't even know what you have done to make The Headache wake up. Bright lights, hot weather, some odors, exercise, lack of sleep, too much sleep, hormones, lack of hormones, food, noise, stress - you name it, I can probably find a time when it has woken The Headache to full glory. I live a life of vigilance that only gives me the illusion of control. I'm really a servant to The Headache.

I'm not even sure what kind of headache The Headache is - I've gotten so many different diagnosis in the last year and a half. Status Migrainosus, chronic migraine, intractable migraine, paroxysmal hemicrania, cluster headache variant, hemicrania continua. The only one that didn't fit was medication overuse headache - and I was hospitalized by a smart alec neurologist for that because he was sure that was my problem, even told me I would have to be in hospital for 3-4 weeks. I guess their narcotic screening came up zilch and it was quickly established that was not my problem, and when all their multiple drug cocktails couldn't kill The Headache they were left scratching their heads. I never saw that neuro again - good riddance to bad rubbish!

Headache disorders seem to be difficult to treat. My primary care physician admitted it was out of his league and sent me to a neurologist. That was a total bust. It is difficult to find a neurologist who even wants to mess with headaches. They make a lot of money seeing people with other chronic issues that don't require emergency treatment or prompt followups. Headache patients take up too much time and need too much attention. I have found that many neurologists seem to throw medications with very high side effect profiles at headaches encouraging patients to take them even when their quality of life is ruined now both by the headache AND the medication.

I also found that finding a neurologist who would listen to you is a rarity. I had one tell me that she would not put me in the hospital for a treatment for acute migraine that day The Headache was in full mind numbing force because she didn't have a day off until the next week. I told her I was the one in pain here, and she told me that that was my problem. Yet another neuro I do not see any more. I did complain to her management, and I did complain to my insurance company about her. You can tell why that one became a physician - not out of a desire to help others!

I finally found a headache specialist who is in network at a hospital 200 miles away, and my insurance decided to make her out of network. Even she said that there wasn't much left medicinally for me for The Headache, but she did tell me to try getting an occipital stimulator, which is how I finally stumbled upon The Cleveland Clinic and the occipital stimulator study I am now participating in.

My family doesn't understand The Headache any better than I do. My responsibilities don't go away when the pain grows and return when the pain starts to get weaker. I have to balance doing as much as I can while the pain is at a bearable level (because it is with me 24/7 since December 2007) against aggravating The Headache and having more Bad Headache Days. The Headache generally wins any argument about what to do when, and the rest of my life has to wait.

Living with The Headache is a harsh life. When I start feeling sorry for myself, I have to remind myself there are others with worse problems and mine are just a drop in the bucket compared to theirs and to buck up and keep fighting The Headache with all I've got. Quitting is not an option, but sure seems desirable some days.

Still Sick

Tired of Being Tired

Woke up this morning determined to go to work. The Headache was roaring but I thought I can tough this out, it's not to my I can't work anymore point. I felt pretty good and had for quite a few hours. I headed into work a little late because I wanted to see if I could keep down breakfast. I got almost all the way into work (about 38 miles driven) when the nausea started up again. I pulled into work, stopped at my desk to disinfect everything I had touched, and left again with the blessing of my coworkers who had no desire to be sick on their three day weekend. I threw up my partially digested breakfast in the parking lot of a defunct restaurant I was driving by on my way back home.

I was running a fever again by the time I drove the 40 miles back home. What a waste of time and gasoline! I was so sure I was better. I am worried about my Mom because she is looking a little wan today. I'll take her to the ER tomorrow if she still doesn't feel well. I tried so hard not to expose her to whatever the heck I have.

The Headache was better this afternoon. I have noticed there are definite fluctuations of pain during the day, and still the ever present exacerbation of pain every three to four days. I am still holding out from taking the indomethacin, but am paying the price with decreased functionality and increased pain levels. The indomethacin never totally killed the pain, but it did bring it down to where I could function most days (truthfully I guess it really was just "some" days not most).

I swear my IQ is dropping as the pain increases. I think the synapses are so tied up sending pain signals my thunker signals are getting rerouted to some nether region. As I used to say when I was a stupidvisor, "let me sit down for a minute - if I not sitting on my brain I can't think!"

Besides the IQ droppage my empathy meter is hovering near zero. My tolerance tank is empty. My fatigue basket is full with new items to add to the ones already there. My fun settings are set to low. My humorometer has switched from hilarity back to tragedy. My compassion is compressed. My "why me" wattage is through the roof and I think I've got "optimist's block" where my glass has suddenly become half empty. Where did my half full part go?? And who can I blame all this on? Do they rent scapegoats by the hour?? I don't know if I could afford a full day.

I've Got Hives

My Brain Needs Flossing

The Headache is wanting to kick up a fit this evening. I'm trying to go without indomethacin because The Belly is feeling so much better with a week's vacation from it, but I'm not sure if I can. I have some dilaudid as a rescue medication and am debating if I should take it or not. Delay too long and I can't keep it down yet it is so strong I hate to be knocked out for so many hours!

I had to turn off all lights in my light box of an office today. I practiced my biofeedback techniques and tried to conjure up the electrical feeling I had last week to get past The Headache today, but no go. Only got a few hours of work done. It must be fluorescent lighting week - one blogger was complaining about lights at work, another was posting about light covers for the compact fluorescents, and that reminded me of research I did several years ago for ergonomic light restriction when I supervised a crew that ranged from 30 to 75 persons over several shifts. I quickly googled fluorescent filters and found this site (I am sure there are more out there): www.ergomart.com. They aren't too expensive, and maybe I will get myself a few to knock down the glare. The light only bothers me when The Headache is misbehaving but that's quite a bit of the time!

Hard day today mood wise also. I strive to build empathy for others and if you have ever worked in the IT industry you would know that empathy for others can be in short supply. If your work's primary function is to be logical, empathy does not necessarily compute. Today was a struggle for me because I was in pain and the urge say "stupid user" as an explanation for everything is always there. Stupid user, stupid associate, stupid checker at grocery store, stupid doctors, stupid headache - stupid me. I was able to discern my over-reaction to others and I decided to go sunny side up, seized control of my mood and got past my own stupidity to work with my clients and coworkers in a positive and outgoing manner.

I wonder if ongoing pain removes your funny bone - a funny bone-ectomy?? Sometimes when the pain gets really bad I almost lose my sense of humor, but I find it again. I'm afraid one of these days it will get lost in the pit of pain and then I will be bitter grumpy and mean forever.

I guess until then send in the circus wagon and I'll keep clowning around. Maybe I'll buy some brain floss and clear out my head!

Headache Revisited

I Wish I Had X-Ray Headache Tablets

Now I know why no headache remedy has worked - they didn't contain radioactive elements! Found a picture of this sign on a website where they were documenting the trend at the turn of the last century to label everything atomic or radioactive as if that was a GOOD thing.

My sister worked for an old radiologist who swore he could cure colds and warts and everything else with radiation. Maybe you can, but I'm not sure about the side effects - having had some very large doses of radiation myself it is very strange. After a dose of radiation to an area I didn't feel pain - in fact pain was better - but I felt like I had cement blocks tied to my legs. The really High Dose Rate brachytherapy I had made me super emotional and depressed for three days - very strange - not my personality at all. After the doctors figured out what was happening they apologized saying they had not meant to irradiate my entire body - just a quarter inch into the skin, and changed the radiation source and the time for the third treatment, which did not give me the terrible emotional swings. So who knew that hyperemotionality and depression can be signs of too much radiation?? I think its called a hematopoietic reaction.

Going into work in a little bit, but my head is already saying don't go!

Good news again, the headache study coordinator called today to try to encourage me (I think she could tell yesterday that I am ready for this to be OVER). She had a lady who is almost through her second 6 months of the protocol just in, and the occipital stimulator has reduced her daily headache to 3 headache days a month, that weren't very painful. I hope it does that for me.

I have a Date In Cleveland

May 6th is the Day!

Have an appointment for the trial implant for May 6th early in the morning. I should be OK to head home that afternoon. I have to have someone with me, so I will see if my older brother can go. Since it is fairly late notice, I won't be able to get a cheap flight so we may have to drive it. I'm dreading the drive already! I am going to check St. Louis flights tomorrow to see if we can get a cheap flight from there instead.

Had my poor old pancreas imaged today a sort of surprise from my GI doc. What a way to spend an afternoon! I'm pretty sure my pancreatitis is from medication not physical blockage so I don't think the MRI will show much. They really wanted to inject gadolinium contrast but I refused because I had an anaphylactic reaction the last time I had it injected. It uses mast cells to create contrast and that's the problem I have - my mast cells really don't like to be messed with! I found an MRI of someone's enlarged pancreas, hope mine is better than this one!

The Belly Burns

Drops of Acidic Pain in my Stomach

The Ensure diet is not working so well. Shards of pain are piercing The Belly, and the pain meds are not keeping up. Not sure what to do. Pancreatitis leaves you feeling exhausted and The Headache is making me even more nauseous. I think I will just curl up in a ball and sleep some more thinking positive thoughts. Maybe I will heal myself! Too much sleep and The Headache will come calling so I will have to balance The Belly against The Headache.

Ensure High Protein

Trying a Liquid Diet

The Belly is truly giving me fits this weekend. I will try to stop eating anything, and supplement with high protein Ensure. Unfortunately all Ensure drinks (and other comparible brands) are high in fat so this is not an ideal solution. The only flavor I can get down my gullet is vanilla.

I ate a bowl of Cream of Rice this morning and that upset The Belly, and this evening I had about a tablespoon of boiled potato and a tablespoon of steamed cauliflower and THAT upset The Belly. These are generally things I could eat a couple of years ago when I had my first pancreatitis attack. Will see tomorrow how the Ensure works.

The Headache was trying to grab all my neurons tonight because there is another storm coming in. I'm hoping The Belly meds will help keep The Headache at bay if only because these keep me feeling sleepy.

I am afraid if The Belly keeps this up I will end up in the hospital next week, which I do not want to do. Broken parts that can't be replaced are a bummer.

It's Now Official

Stimulator Trial OK'd by Study Sponsor

Got a call today from the study coordinator at the Cleveland Clinic. I am officially approved for the temporary stimulator trial. There is one other person that is qualified also at their site. Lilly the coordinator did the interview over the phone (glad The Belly had acted up so I was at home!) mainly just confirming that I had not changed medications or alternative treatments in the last month. Of course I had very carefully not changed anything even toughing out a couple of times when I would have gone to the ER.

Per Lilly she has to write up her notes for the study sponsor and get other paperwork ready which will take approximately 10 days. She said she will schedule me for the trial surgery sometime in early May, and will call back with a date next Monday. Woo Hoo!!! I sure do hope this works. The stimulator in the illustration is the brand for the study, made by St. Jude's Medical, but I'm not sure if the leads are the same or if this one is used for the trial. I was told there were five different stimulators they could use made by the same company so no telling which one will be implanted.

WooHoo (Second try!)

Bluebirds of Happiness in my Heart

Spoke with my study coordinator at the Cleveland Clinic and setup an interview time next Monday at 10:00 am Eastern time, 9 am my time. She said that the study sponsors have said I qualify for the trial (as I suspected a couple of weeks ago - see WooHoo number one) and the interview next week is a formality. I guess she has to write something about the headache diary and the interview questions?? Not sure. Just guessing that there has to be a "before" state and an "after" state in order for the study to have something to compare.

Went to urgent care again today and got some stronger pain killers for The Belly. My lipase levels have'nt fallen any since Tuesday, and The Belly is really kicking a fit at night. I'm not sure if I will take these but is comforting to know I have them on hand. The doctor said I could take more phenergan than I am to help with the nausea. Pancreatitis beware! I also bought some Ensure to drink - the fat in the Ensure hurts The Belly but I can generally keep it down when other substances fail. I will make an appointment for Monday for my regular doc - he is not there on Fridays. My GI doc is in the hospital himself for an illness. I am praying for a complete recovery for him - he is a very nice person and a brilliant doctor - don't see that combination together very often.

The Headache has tried to jump up a level or two on me today, but I guess I am taking enough medication The Headache can't sneak up on me.

My niece who has Greensleeve Gifts on Etsy.com sent me the cutest purse today with a bluebird of happiness on it. Made my spirits lift for sure. Only happy thoughts can be thunked by someone with a bluebird of happiness on her purse!

Pancreatic Problems

Acute Pancreatitis Attack

Today I went to urgent care. I was trying to go to work and the stomach spasms started again. I was closer to the urgent care than I was to my own physician's office, so that is where I went.

My lipase was fairly high, and I have acute pancreatitis again. I'm going to have to get off the indomethacin. I am trying to get through the occipital stimulator study to the point I can quit taking the indomethacin, but The Belly is not working with me. I was supposed to be off the indomethacin last fall when this happened but the pain is too bad when I don't take it.

I promised the doc I would take it easy, take some tramadol for the pain, and get retested in a day or so if it still hurts. If I still have an issue then, the doc told me it will be hospital time for me. Sitting around with an IV stuck in you for several days is not my idea of productive time, so I am trying really hard to sit still and rest for the rest of the week. I would like to have a year where I don't meet the out-of-pocket limit on my insurance, but when your warranty is expired and they don't make spare parts for your model anymore it gets expensive.

Happy Bunny Day Tomorrow

Today is Lovely!

Beautiful and sunny today, but since I am having what for me is a good day I am spending it buying groceries, doing errands and cleaning house (sort of). I am having some guests tomorrow and hope to at least clean a few surfaces in main areas! I even had the energy to play with my dog Augie for awhile outside.

Thursday and Friday this week were awful for me, but perhaps it was the large storm system passing through? I don't know, as Saturday, Sunday and part of Monday were bad for me also. I guess I'm back to the old up and down cycle of BAD headache vs. TERRIBLE headache. Today is merely just barely bad. Yesterday was terrible, but I am sure tomorrow will be better!

I hope everyone has a pleasant day tomorrow. If I wasn't having company I would go to a sunrise service for Easter, but I am not taking any chances of aggravating The Headache. In my home town, one church had a beautiful stained glass window that they lighted from the outside (mimicking sunrise) during the sunrise services. Worth getting up early just to see the lovely glass.

Bad Headache Day #25 2009

The Rain Crow was Right!

Major storms came through last evening. The Headache was worse last evening, even after getting my injection of toradol this morning. Not a good day for The Headache or me.

The nurse suggested that I get my doc to prescribe a vial of toradol and syringes and that I could inject myself. If I wasn't in this headache study I would do that. If I don't qualify for the study or the trial doesn't help, I may ask my doc to set me up for self-injection. It's a muscle shot so I would probably need to inject in my thigh for best results.

Early Morning in Missouri

The Rain Crow Calls

In our family we call the mourning dove the rain crow. It was sighing its plaintive woo hoo hoo hoo this morning. We'll see if it is calling in any rain! Or just looking for a mate.

Because there are heavily wooded areas around my home, we have a diverse lot of backyard birds. Every year we get one or two that are outside of their general range of habitat. Deer come up and munch on my garden, and squirrels and moles are the bane of my dachsund Augie's life. Rabbits and lately armadillos are garden munchers too! I actively relocate the armadillos to the local creek - they aren't very hard to catch in a garbage can. Pretty soon the annual turtle migration will begin, and I'm sure we will get a couple of box turtles trundelling through.

It's a good day today. Now if The Headache will play along!!!

Spring Is Maybe Here to Stay

Cold weather gone? Hope so!

The local orchards are having a rough time of it. Freezing weather in April is just not normal in this part of the world. Peach trees, pear trees, and apricots bloom early and an untimely frost can mean no crop this year for these types of fruits. A couple of springs ago the peach trees were hit at just the wrong time, and the orchards tried importing fruit from California - just not the same as tree ripened fruit!

My cherry trees have not blossomed yet, and the iris leaves that are up are hardy and will survive the cold. We have had warmer weather the last two days, hopefully to last the rest of the spring.

I have some hollyhocks and yellow iris to plant that were given to me on my birthday and it hasn't been warm enough to try! I hope to plant them Saturday if the weather stays dry and warm.

I don't know how much garden I will put out this year, as The Headache is not cooperating. I will supplement with offerings from the Farmer's Market the same as last year, but that is not nearly as satisfying as picking your own produce. The picture is of my tomatoes a couple of years ago BEFORE The Headache.

I was bored and did an online test of the "real age" of my cat today. She is about 89 in cat years but healthwise she is about 79 years according to the survey. Wilsy was born in 1990, making her 19 years old chronologically.

I believe Wilsy is the oldest cat I have had the privilege to feed, but my grandmother fed an old barn kitty that was soooooo old he was bald on the top of his head and had no teeth. She fed him warm oatmeal and meat drippings every morning all of my life that I could remember until they moved off the farm (about 24 years) and my older brother and sister remember even further back. It was always thrilling to be able to pet TomCat (as he was known) while he ate. He was extremely leary of people unless he was being fed. He lived a great portion of his life in and around my grandmother's chicken coop killing mice that liked to eat chicken feed. I think he had a great semi-independent life that many tom cats would admire and there are probably great-grandsons of TomCat still inhabiting the barns surrounding the farm.

The Headache was acting up last night, but has played nice most of the day until late this afternoon. I'm trying to outlast it tonight, and am scheduled to get a shot of toradol tomorrow. Hoping for the best!

One Less Trip to Cleveland

April 15th appointment to be covered by Phone

Yeah! Score one for me! Lilly the study coordinator checked with the study sponsors and I don't have to travel to Cleveland next week. I am so glad I didn't make plane reservations ahead of time this time.

Lilly said she will give me a call next week and ask some questions, and then review my headache log online. I sure hope I pass! The last few days have been lousy. I am missing work today and have taken a combo of trammadol, benedryl and phenergan so I hopefully can avoid going to the ER.

I setup an appointment with my PCP to get a shot of toradol this Thursday. I hope to hold out until then, because that is my cheapest avenue. I'm on such a tight budget this year since this is year two of only being able to work part time. The Belly does not like the toradol and I think The Headache is not responding to it very well, but I want to give it one more try.....

Bad Headache #24 2009

Broken Head

Most of the day is gone and my head is achey still. I have managed not to go to the ER today (which makes me a $150 copay richer!) but am wondering now if I should have. Bad day - wonder if it's related to the weather? A storm blew in last night about 2 AM, and the cold wind has been blowing all day. A misty rain was falling and it almost felt like sleet. Very unseasonal for this part of the country.

I am proud that I managed to stop The Headache at the "Oh God" stage this morning, but the same measures are not helping this evening. The Belly is not cooperating either and refuses to keep food down. I now have a railroad spike of pain running from the back of my head into my left eye, with another spiking in from my left temple. I think my head is just broken. And all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put it together again!

It's cold enough today that I have not seen the usual parade of our Amish neighbors going to meeting. Perhaps they ran by in their buggies while I was zonked with medication. They are nice quiet neighbors, but I fear for their safety on our road - sometimes I hear their horses and buggies going by in the wee hours of the morning, and even with lanterns their buggies just aren't that visible.

I think The Headache is going back to the same pattern it had last fall. I believe the Solu-Medrol the ER gave me back in March has worn off and The Headache is up to its old tricks. I hope that the study coordinator in Cleveland finds out that I don't have to go on April 15th. That is a lot of energy for me to use just to hand over a palm pilot. I could just Fed Ex it if they need it physically back.

I spoke with a friend of mine today and it helped me put The Headache in perspective. She has conjestive heart failure and takes insulin six times a day for diabetes and about 30 medications. At least The Headache is not life threatening, just life limiting.

The headache diary continues to be difficult to transmit. Some nights it takes 3 to 4 tries. I am thinking of making a little sound chamber out of a shoe box to hold the telephone handset and the palm pilot, since it could be ambient sound effecting the transmittal - no way to tell. Maybe I will make it tonight as a distraction.

I had cancelled my appointment in Kansas City at KU Med Center with my headache specialist in April since I didn't think I had enough energy to go to KC and go to Cleveland in one month. The rescheduled date is in July and they were sweet enough to mail me a few more months subscription for the indomethacin! Hoping to have an implant by then, but as slow as its going now I have my doubts. I am just not a lucky person.

WOOHOO!!!

I'm PreApproved for the Stimulator Trial!! (I think)

The Headache has been acting up and I was too sick the last couple of days to pick up my voicemail. Today I found out that yesterday I had a message from the Cleveland Clinic saying they were pre-authorized to schedule a procedure with Dr. Mekhail (the pain management doctor in charge of my trial)!!! The only procedure that could possibly be is the trial implant!!! Yeah!!

I think the qualifying factor for the trial was that I had to have at least 15 days of pretty bad headache pain a month. It's been about 15 days since I started the diary, and most of them have been my average bad with a few superbads mixed in. I don't think it was my insurance since I just checked pre-authorizations today and they said they would not pay for the procedure anyway since it is considered experimental.

WooHoo!!! I wasn't expecting this until after I returned the headache diary to Cleveland April 15th! I will call first thing tomorrow. I'd like to get this business over with. I am prepared to be disappointed and have the stimulator not work like everything else has not really worked. If it could just get rid of 30% of my bad headache days it would be fantastic.

I got five hours of work in today and am not in too bad of shape this evening. Hoping tomorrow will be good also. Hoping I won't be disappointed tomorrow. Sigh.

Ouch! Doh!!!

My Head Hurts

I know I whine about it a lot. I know it dominates my every day. But my head hurts - a lot. Last night - don't know if it was just because it was the third day after a bad day, or because I did housework - The Headache started to ratchet up.

When I say ratchet I mean like "CRANK" up goes the pain, wait a moment, "CRANK" up goes the pain, wait a moment, "CRANK" up goes the pain. In the matter of minutes (its like going 0=120 mph in a race car) The Headache gets up to speed and won't slow down. I was able to medicate with Benedryl and Phenergan and it has stopped at about a high eight on my personal pain scale. I can function up to a nine, but that's not far to go. My pain scale is like the Richter scale - the higher the number the more exponentially severe the pain is - sorta like redoubling on every level.

Cluster headache sufferers talk about the Kip Pain scale, which is similar. I'm not suicidal but when I am at a 10, I almost go into shock the pain is so bad. I start shaking, my arms and legs go whacky, and my body temp drops for hours. I don't make sense, and can barely talk. My extremities are like ice for a day or two. I wonder if everyone else with this type of pain has the same problem feeling cold. Of course maybe the simple explanation is that when I am at a 10, I end up in the ER with an cold bag of IV liquids being pumped into me.

Today we haave a meeting this afternoon at work. I will leave in a little bit so I can go, and I have another meeting tomorrwo at 10:00 am. I hope to hold at this 8 level for today and tomorrow. It may be too much to hope for, since I am not staying home today with my head wrapped in ice.