Legs Legs Legs

Need Magic

Have been using my cane BLING and taking pain medication in order to get by this week. As the pain increases, the time release medication lasts shorter and shorter periods of time. Instead of 12 hours, it seems to lose its umph at about 4 hours. Attempting to sit as much as possible but it is difficult.

My legs are on fire this evening. I decided to rest in my hotel room this evening, not going out to eat with my co-workers. The pain is not good, but I am waiting until 12 hours have passed before taking another pill. It is becoming hard to get in and out of cars in addition to having issues with walking standing and sitting. Sigh....

The client would like me to stay another week. I am willing to stay, just not sure how I will force my body to my will. They are wonderful people, and I understand their wish to have someone here for another week.  Working on problems for other clients from the hotel room this evening.  I need a magic wand - bippity boppity boo - and all will be well. Wishing I had a fairy godmother!!

Homesick

My Mom Turns 80

Bumming tonight in my Michigan motel room.  It's a nice enough room.  The people are fantastic.  Just missing home.

My mom turned 80 today, and my brother (who is actually quite the cook) made a cake for her.  Looks like she was enjoying blowing out the candles!  Hopefully my other brother, and my sister and her husband were able to stop by.  She is a third year survivor of colon cancer and is a lot more frail than she was.  Wishing I was there too.  I left her a birthday present before I left, but its not like being there

Off to work tomorrow, have been laying low over the weekend with a brief jaunt to a local city that was like a mini-Bavaria.  Interesting and touristy. Felt sorry for everyone in drindle skirts and leiderhosen.  Pain has been bad off and on, but am off the dilaudid and taking some oxycontin so it can "time release" and hopefully not make me hive as bad.  Long week ahead, will be even longer when I am feeling homesick.

Thinking of Thanks

Thankfulness in Spite of Gripiness

I am a griper.  There - I've said it.  If you read this blog on a regular basis you know it.  My life is full of forces I cannot control, and sometimes I complain.  Well, REALLY a LOT of times I complain!!!  I used to say "if I'm not complaining, I'm not happy!" and now I think "if I'm not complaining, I might not be breathing - better check my pulse!!!".   I complain that much. sigh.

Yet my life is truly blessed, and I am thankful for many many things.  For your perusement I am going to list some of my favorite things to be thankful for:

• My family:  My 80 year old mother, my sister, my two brothers, and lots of nieces, nephews and cousins
• My pets: My dachshund Augie Von Hidenpooper, my parakeets, my adopted cat Clarence
• Where I live: a little ranchstyle home in the countryside with very good neighbors
• Refrigerators tied to trees (an Ozarks tradition I find hilarious)
• Computers - without them I couldn't make a living, or connect to other people so easily
• Internet friends:  I would never have met any of you if there was not an electronic world to meet in
• Electricity: It powers light and heat and computers and the zapper on my head
• Head zappers in general (I love mine - wish everyone that would benefit had one too!)
• Cleveland Clinic and Dr. Nagy Mekhail in particular
• My personal care physician who has the patience of a saint and the persistance of a bulldog
• My employers who are a ragtag bunch of goofs that put up with me on a daily basis
• My co-workers who carry more of a load because they work with me and my illnesses. sigh.
• Benedryl - a wonder drug
• Airplanes because driving a car everywhere takes a long time
• Friends in general, even when I haven't been such a good friend they have been exceptional buddies
• My job which is interesting and diverse
• Skunks because they have finally moved out from under my sister's house
• Possums becuase they are trying to move into the skunk space under my sister's house
• My brother's dog Beanie and my sister's puppy Gracie
• Touch typing - the ONE high school class I have used almost everyday of my life
• Microwave ovens
• Clean water
• Plenty of food
• Cankle ready shoes
• Books
• Optimism
• Hope
• God
• Monty Python skits
• Antiques Roadshow
• Naional Public Radio
• St. Jude Medical/ANS stimulators for my head buzzer
• Elmo
• Feather pillows
• Dingo dog treats
• Fall weather
• My cane BLING
• Luggage with wheels

Gosh, I'm running out of things to write, not because I am unthankful, but because my brain is on medication this evening.  That reminds me: I am Thankful for my Medication - even when it doesn't work... Or when it gives me hives.... Or when it makes me throw up....  oh, I guess I'm back to griping again!!!

Bad Day Bad Back

Bad Business

I think I'm going to have to hang up my traveling shoes pemanently.  The Legs gave out on me the other day, not wanting to walk.  Last night and today I am incapacitated by pain.

Pelvic pain and The Legs are giving me fits. Last night I took dilaudid with Soma trying to get past the pain and sleep.  This morning the pain was just as bad, so I took a partial tablet of dilaudid along with Soma.  I got to the client hoping I could just work past the pain and do what was necessary. 

The pain just kept getting worse and getting worse until by 10 am I could barely stand to stand.  By 11 am I was trying to stay sitting still and the pain just kept coming, with additional fun side effects of muscle cramping in the bottoms of my burning feet and sudden surges of pain that doubled me over.  By noon I told my boss and coworkers I had to go back to the motel room.  I had no choice but to try to rest and recuperate in order to go again tomorrow.  Not quite sure how I am going to get through the next week.

I took more pain medication and slept most of the afternoon and this evening.  Now The Headache is all riled up because I took pain medication.  I am finding it very difficult to stand, walk, or sit.  I am sick to my stomach partly because of the pain, partly because of the pain medication.   I am itching everywhere because of the pain medication and The Hives. Hoping tomorrow will be better.

I am disappointed that The Legs are not behaving.  I am discouraged that the pain won't stop.  I am worried that I am falling down on my mission for my client and my employer.  I am mad that my health is interfering with what I want to do and what I need to do.   I'm not sure what to do if this doesn't improve tomorrow. This stinks. Big Time.

Malfunctioning Legs

Need That Bongo Sound Effect

I've had a hard time this week with pain especially leg pain.  Finally the other night I decided that I was being stupid so took some of the medication I carry with me just because of this problem.  Instead of impairing my ability to think, I was able to think of something besides pain. I think my concentration was improved rather hindered.

I have been standing a great deal the last few days, and walking back and forth between two buildings at the client we are working with which is a couple of blocks.  Doesn't sound like a lot of effort, but my legs have been getting weaker each day.  I would hope that using the durn pegs more would make them stronger, but they are just not cooperating.

Today I stood up from sitting in a chair and working on a computer for about 30 minutes and my legs wouldn't move.  I couldn't pick my feet up.  I couldn't scoot them forward.  My body had forward momentum but the legs and feet were glued to the floor where I stood up.  I don't have good sensation in my feet but this was different.  It was like sending a message to the feet - move Move MOVE - and they weren't paying attention.  The legs weren't asleep (as from a pinched nerve) they just weren't obeying.

I caught myself on the desk where I stood since I was my generally hell bent on getting somewhere self and had started moving my whole body forward, not realizing my legs were nailed to the ground.  I felt like I was in a cartoon where the feet move in a blur but you don't go anywhere.  I thought if I only had that bongo sound effect I could just skedaddle and get going!!!  Pyoooooiiing!!

I managed to unglue my feet by actually sliding my legs forward using my thigh muscles and lifted my feet and tried to stomp them into submission the same way.  I sure was glad I had BLING with me!  I have been using BLING daily but even BLING was not enough motivating force today.  I have had to kind of lift my legs tonight and shuffle along but I'm able to ambulate.

Tonight I am sitting around the hotel room hoping the legs will revive.  They are hurting, tingling, very weak and pretty numb.  The huge hives that were on them last weekend have shrunk to normal hive size, so I don't think this is due to angioedema.  Not sure what to do if The Legs just quit on me.  I wonder if this is what Dr. SassyPants meant by saying he didn't know if I could make it through this fall traveling.  Am halfway afraid to take Soma tonight in case that is what stopped me in place like a mouse in a glue trap, but also know if I don't take it I won't be able to walk because of the pain. 

I guess if I get stuck again, I can get myself a fancy slide along walker - one of my bloggie friends has a fancy rollerator walker that I am quite jealous of.  There is a bright side to everything and the fact that there are fancy rollerator walkers I could shop for is definitely a bright side.  I wonder if they make walkers out of carved aluminum like BLING??  I would like my chariot and my pogo gogo stick to match.  Maybe I can get mini-spinners for the wheels!!!